


Like the Brightest of Stars

by brotective



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Friendship, Insecurity, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:40:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23580055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brotective/pseuds/brotective
Summary: Chisato is in love with Kaoru, but she can’t let their friendship become awkward.Kaoru is in love with Chisato, but she can’t inconvenience her with feelings she doesn’t share.Their friends just want them to be happy, and if it takes some extra time to get them there, then it’s worth it.
Relationships: Hikawa Sayo/Maruyama Aya, Kitazawa Hagumi/Wakamiya Eve/Yamato Maya, Maruyama Aya & Shirasagi Chisato, Matsubara Kanon/Okusawa Misaki, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Okusawa Misaki & Seta Kaoru, Seta Kaoru/Shirasagi Chisato
Comments: 18
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> expect to see updates to this every other friday!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello, Happy World! and Pastel*Palettes realize something is off with Kaoru and Chisato.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is that fic i’ve been teasing for... a long time now actually! i’ve had a lot of fun writing it ngl

“Today was fun, wasn’t it?” Aya said, smiling widely. In front of her was a tray, containing fries coated in ketchup, a half-eaten burger, and a cup with a mixture of diet soda and lemonade. She took a sip of her drink, looking around enthusiastically at her bandmates and ignoring that Hina was blatantly stealing her fries.

“I suppose it was. It’s nice to do things as a group for the sake of it,” Chisato said—and she couldn’t help smiling back as she sipped her own drink.

“I thought it was wonderful that we got to do some more sightseeing!” Eve added on. “Every day, I think I’ve gotten comfortable with an area, but there’s always so much more to learn! It’s wonderful!”

Maya smiled at her. “Yeah, I thought some of those buildings we saw were really neat! We passed by that fountain that looked really cool, and I didn’t even know it was there.”

Hina spoke next, not even bothering to swallow the half-eaten fry in her mouth. “Mhm, it was super boppin’! Do you know anything about it?”

Eve opened her mouth, and Chisato smiled politely, placing a firm hand on her shoulder. “Eve-chan, I know you know everything about it. Why don’t we go back down there the next time we all have a free weekend, and you could tell us about it then?”

“Ah, that sounds great!” Aya grinned. “I might bring Sayo-chan, if that’s okay with you all!”

“That’d be zappin’! Ooh, I wanna bring Tsugu-chan!” Hina looked even more excited at the thought of both her sister and her girlfriend being there.

Chisato couldn’t help but chuckle at her enthusiasm. “We’ll need to find a time that they’re free as well, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

“I’ll bet they’d be excited, though,” Maya commented. “You haven’t really gone on a date with Tsugumi-san yet, right, Hina?”

“Nope! That’s why this is gonna be extra cool!” Hina rocked back into the booth cushion, knocking the bottom of the table with her knees and causing Aya to let out a little squeak as a bit of her drink splashed onto her.

“Hina-chan! Be careful!” she chided, grabbing a napkin from the center of the table and patting her shirt dry.

“Don’t worry, Aya-san! I can Google remedies for stains!” Eve quickly went to work on her phone. “Let’s see… for lemon stains, you use cold water and bleach! And for soft drink stains, you use… hm… cold water and... ammonia?” She stared at her phone in disbelief.

“We’re gonna clean Aya-chan’s shirt with chlorine gas!”

“Just get me some water!”

As soon as Aya said that, Eve decided to hop up and grab some. Unfortunately for her sense of duty, Chisato was the one with the aisle seat on her side of the booth, so Hina—who was blessed with being the one with the aisle seat on her own side—got out first.

“Be right back!”

Aya was still dabbing at her shirt with a napkin, but realizing that there was nothing else she could do until Hina brought back the water, she decided to sit back in her chair to avoid spreading the stain.

Noticing that the mood had finally returned to normal, if only temporarily—and it usually was temporary with this group—Maya opted to speak next. “Anyway, it was a surprise to run into Kaoru-san when we were out! I’ll bet that you’re happy about that, right, Chisato-san?”

Chisato’s face went a bit pink, but she was composed enough to set down her drink. “Hm? What do you mean?”

“Kaoru-san is our friend, of course!” Eve said, grinning. She took a tiny bite of a fry and swallowed it before continuing. “So we were all happy to see her!”

Ah. That was what Maya must have meant. Chisato breathed a small sigh of relief. “...Yes, it seems we were. It was nice to see her again, even though we see each other quite often now.”

“Aha! Caught’cha!” Hina called as she returned with the water. Chisato, Eve, and Aya all jolted up—Eve on impulse, Aya on general principle, and Chisato because she had been busted.

“Caught me? I’m not sure I understand your meaning.” Chisato smiled once more, but there was a threatening edge to it. This was the smile she used to tell her bandmates to shut up that instant or else, and it worked on 3/4ths of them.

“Hm? You totally do! You’ve totally got a huge crush on her!” Hina was grinning ear to ear, amused by Chisato’s embarrassment.

“H-Hina-chan! Quiet down!” Aya cut in.

“Well, the restaurant is pretty empty at this time of day,” Maya pointed out.

Eve nodded. “Mhm! We’re safe until the elementary schools get out!”

Ignoring the others, Chisato continued with her surprisingly dignified responses. “A crush? On Kaoru? You really think so?”

A beat of silence passed.

“Yep!”

“It is sort of obvious, Chisato-san...”

“Mhm! It makes sense, really!”

“You two would be adorable together! A real power couple!”

Chisato groaned softly. Maybe her bandmates knew her a little too well. Still, it was better than the days where she could barely find the time to make it to practice, so she decided the best strategy would be to put up with it.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it a _huge_ crush...” Aya and Eve both gasped, giving each other excited little smiles. Chisato continued talking over them. “But either way, I don’t plan to tell her.”

“Huh? Why not?” Aya asked.

Chisato could hardly believe that she had to go over this, but she did. “Well, because... you know...”

The whole table was listening with bated breath.

“If I tell Kaoru I like her, then she’ll reject me, and then I’ll get upset when she rejects me, and then she’ll say we can still be friends, and then I’ve made our friendship awkward for no reason.”

Hina initially felt like cutting in with a joke, but Chisato actually seemed kind of distressed about this series of events she had made up, so she decided to stay down for now.

“I... I guess,” Maya finally added on. It did sort of feel like Chisato had brought the mood down, but this seemed like it had been bothering her for a while, so the others couldn’t help but let it slide. “Hey, I’m going to get some more ketchup. Anyone want some?”

“Yeah, I’ll take some!”

“If you would!”

“I’m okay, thank you!”

“I’m all right.”

Chisato couldn’t hide the fact that she was still a bit upset as she said that, and Aya looked over her worriedly as Maya left to get ketchup for the others.

Chisato had done a lot for Aya in teaching her about what it really meant to be an idol, and even helped to lift the dating ban so that Aya could be with Sayo in public.

Maybe she had helped Chisato in her own way, Aya thought, but it never felt like enough. Nothing she could do for a friend like her was ever enough.

If she could just help Chisato work up the courage to do what she had helped her do all of those months ago, then maybe it finally would be.

Kaoru laid back on one of the rehearsal studio’s chairs, sighing dramatically. Michelle was sitting on a different chair as Kanon poured water into her mouth, and Kokoro and Hagumi still looked as excited as ever.

That is, until Kokoro noticed a hint of a frown on Kaoru’s face, and decided that it was time to approach her.

“Kaoru! What’s wrong?”

Kaoru looked up at Kokoro, her eyes widening for a moment. “Ah, not a thing, my dear Kokoro. You see, I was merely... deep in thought. Of a woman, you see...” She chuckled softly. “Who fortune’s buffets and rewards have ta’en with equal pleasure. Her blood and judgement are so commingled that they are not a pipe for fortune’s finger to sound what stop she please.” She smiled at her. “Now, do you understand?”

“Nope! But does this lady make you happy?” Kokoro asked, in childish excitement. Kaoru took another moment to ponder.

“...I suppose she does. Yes, indeed... thank you, fair Kokoro, for reminding me of our true purpose once more. A smile, even my own, is the most valuable thing one can find... and yet, you have found it in me. ‘Tis grander than all the riches in the world.”

Hagumi grinned from where she was sipping from her water bottle. “You’re so smart, Kaoru-kun!”

Kaoru stood, pushing her hair back with the sort of dramatic flair she was the master of, and gestured towards where their instruments lay. “My dear bandmates, you have revitalized me... now, let us play, play on! For music, you see, be...” She contemplated quoting _Twelfth Night_ for a moment there. “...like that.”

“Music... be like that?” Kanon asked, tilting her head. Kaoru could have buckled then and there, but for whatever reason, she continued.

“It truly doth.” She picked up her guitar, playing the first few notes of Happiness! Happy Magical. “Now, come, let us return to our duties. Our breaks are valuable, of course, but the world awaits.”

Hagumi was quick to pick up her bass, Kokoro zoomed back to her mic, and Kanon gave the Michelle suit a little kiss on the nose before returning to her drums.

Being in the Michelle suit inhibited several of Misaki’s senses. Seeing was harder. She couldn’t directly touch anything. She occasionally had to strain her ears to hear through the fluff.

However, the suit didn’t harm her sense of smell—and at the moment, Misaki smelled bullshit. Kaoru was nervous about something. And damn it, Kaoru was an idiot, but that idiot was her friend. Misaki could never leave a friend behind.

She couldn’t talk to her around the rest of the band, and it would be hard to get something (much less something coherent) out of her, but she had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter comes soon! >:3c


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aya and Misaki try to help in whatever way they can.

Chisato returned home from the meeting she had after Pastel*Palettes went out for dinner, finally laying down on her bed and pulling her phone out. Her back ached, and she sighed gently as she relaxed it.

She was ready to go to bed, but judging by the amount of notifications she had, that wasn’t happening anytime soon. She groaned, opening her texting app to check.

Ah, Aya had texted. That accounted for most of them. Usually, she went through the Pastel*Palettes group chat, but Chisato figured that it had to be important if she had gone straight to her.

[Aya] chisato-chan can i talk to you??? （╹◡╹）  
[Aya] chisato-chan? (・・?)  
[Aya] are you at a meeting? ( ・∇・)  
[Aya] you’re lucky, i wish i had that many meetings (；ω；)  
[Aya] but i want to help you!! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）  
[Aya] so text me back whenever ok? (^o^)  
[Aya] whenever you see these is fine! (*´∀｀*)  
[Aya] chisato-chan please talk to me (ㆀ˘･з･˘)

An octuple text. Sadly, this was not a record for Aya.

[Chisato] Sorry, I just got home from a meeting. What is it?

It took less than 10 seconds for Aya to start texting back.

[Aya] oh! you’re here!! okay! (๑>◡<๑)  
[Aya] so about kaoru 🏳️🌈  
[Chisato] Why don’t you stick to emoticons? ^_^

That was the closest that Chisato had to a threatening smile over text, but Aya got the message.

[Aya] sorry! m(_ _)m  
[Aya] but i swear i can help! i know all about girls! especially tall hot girls who look super tough but are big softies (//∇//)  
[Aya] vc me! ^_−☆

Chisato kind of just wanted to go to bed... but then again, it was only 8:00. She could take an hour or so to call her friend, couldn’t she?

[Chisato] All right.

She pressed the button to call Aya, and waited a few seconds for her connection to work and for her bandmate to pick up.

“Hi, Aya-chan,” Chisato greeted, sounding amused. “So I hear you’ve placed Kaoru as the gentle giant type, too?”

“Mhm! You guys looked like you were having a lot of fun talking when we saw her yesterday!” Aya said, grinning widely. “Oh, speaking of yesterday, look!”

She set her phone down on the bed, leaving her camera pointed up at her ceiling. A few seconds later, she was back, holding a pink-collared shirt in her hand.

“I got the stain out! It turned out that the water and laundry detergent was enough!”

Chisato had forgotten that the stain had even happened, honestly, but she was glad that Aya was happy about it.

“Hm, so you did. It looks nice.” She cleared her throat. “But, er, if you don’t mind...” Her face flushed slightly pink. “...you know...”

“You really like her, don’t you?” Aya asked. Chisato hadn’t realized that her blush was visible to her, but she managed to resist the impulse to cover her face. Instead, she nodded, a bit embarrassed.

“I suppose you could say that,” Chisato admitted. “It’s…” She tried to find a convenient way to downplay it. “A recent development.”

“No, it’s cute! I kind of fell in love with Sayo-chan like that. I just saw her sitting alone at Hazawa Coffee one day, decided to join her, and, well... it was super great! I realized I thought she was really pretty, so I, um... I told her, and she was so sweet about it!” Aya sighed romantically. “So now we’re dating... and I really just want to be her fry housewife, you know?”

Chisato just stared. She kept staring.

“Hm? Did I say something weird?” Aya asked, noticing her expression.

Chisato took in a breath. Oh boy, how to word this...

“What… what the hell is a fry housewife?”

“You know! It’s like I could be her housewife, but we delegate the work evenly except for I make her fries!”

That didn’t seem like a bad set-up, honestly. “Why fries specifically?”

“Oh, you didn’t know? Sayo-chan really likes fries!” Aya beamed. “It’s always super cute when she comes into my line. She gets all embarrassed about it, but I think it’s adorable!” At this point, Aya seemed to realize that she had gone off on a tangent, and tried to connect the Sayo thing back to Kaoru. “So if you ask Kaoru out, you can be her... um, Shakespeare housewife!”

“...You’re really proud of that one, aren’t you?”

Aya nodded. “I think it was great!”

Chisato laughed. “If anything, I would make her rice cakes. Not that I can... particularly cook, of course.” She glanced down from the camera. “Either way, you know what’s going to happen with that. If I tell Kaoru I like her, then she’ll reject me, and then I’ll get upset when she rejects me, and then she’ll say we can still be friends, and then I’ve made our friendship awkward for no reason. It’s better not to think about it.”

Aya frowned. “Chisato-chan...”

“No, it’s... really, it’s okay.” She smiled at Aya. “I don’t mind when you talk about Sayo-chan. I’m glad you’re happy, and it’s nice to know that I can talk to you about Kaoru.”

Aya looked a bit conflicted about whether she should push her to say something or not. It only took her a second before she decided that the answer was to move on—that Chisato would figure things out, and it wasn’t Aya’s job to force her.

“Tell me what you like about her, then!” Aya found herself smiling again. “I don’t know Kaoru-san too well, so don’t spare any details, okay?”

Chisato smiled back, relief in her tone as she spoke. No pressure, no anything... just talking to her friend about the pretty girls they’d fallen in love with. She could get behind that.

“Well, I... I think she’s cute when she’s flustered.” Kaoru’s face would turn a bright rose red, her arms would cross at her chest, and her calm, deep voice rose an octave. She would be positively adorable, and it felt real. Maybe Kaoru was always real, much more than Chisato had believed in recent years, but she still loved the cute face she made when she called her ‘Kao-chan’ in private. “And I think she’s gorgeous when she lets her hair down, even though she puts it up most of the time.” It was pretty up, too, but Chisato liked when she did different things. It made her look confident, and seeing her strength enamored Chisato every time. “And… I want to kiss her, I think.” Chisato could imagine what it would be like to have Kaoru on her lips—and every time, she felt safe and warm, exciting in all of the right ways and like home in every other sense.

“Oh, that’s really cute! You like her soft side, then!”

Chisato nodded, a bit embarrassed. “I suppose I just want her to be happy... I can’t exactly explain why I like her, really.” That smile was a big part of it. “Her smile is, you know…” She took a moment to be brave. “...comforting and sweet, and... ah, she’s sweet, too. We never run out of things to talk about, and I feel like she’s… I’m… we’re more like ourselves.” Her face was progressively getting redder, realizing how much she had been talking even though she had left so much unsaid. “So, I... I just like her, really.”

Aya’s eyes lit up. She knew full well that Chisato deserved to tell Kaoru, that she _had_ to tell her after all of that. Even though Aya wasn’t nearly as familiar with Kaoru as she would like to be, she knew that with the kind of heartfelt confession she was certain Chisato could engineer—especially when she already knew that Kaoru cared about her—she wouldn’t be let down.

But Chisato didn’t want the pressure, did she? Aya knew that the others wanted Chisato to tell her, too—but if she wasn’t ready, it wasn’t right. For once, Aya had to be mature and responsible. She had to be the type of person that Chisato could lean on, the type of friend she had always wanted to be.

“She’s really lucky that you care so much, Chisato-chan!” Aya tried not to make her awkward glancing around her room as she searched for a way to get out of the conversation feel too uncomfortable. “I’m sure she knows that, too. Um, anyway, I have a super important meeting at 9 that I forgot about, so I have to go now! Bye, Chisato-chan, good luck with your crush thing!” She wasn’t sure if Chisato would buy that excuse, but she figured that risk was lower than the risk of being overbearing.

“Oh, of course. I couldn’t keep you from that.” Chisato waved, and even with her low camera quality, she still looked dignified from Aya’s side of the screen. “Good night, Aya-chan.”

“Night!”

_Click._

Nice.

Aya wished she could have offered an actual solution, something to do to get Kaoru’s eyes on Chisato, but… for some reason, the sort she couldn’t quite place a finger on, it wasn’t overwhelming like usual.

Chisato was tougher than Aya could ever be. She’d figure it out, and Aya liked to think that she was helping along the way.

Hello, Happy World! walked out of CIRCLE, another successful rehearsal under their belts. Kanon took Misaki’s hand with a smile, and Misaki leaned into her a bit. Kokoro and Hagumi were chatting about something that Misaki didn’t understand—something about ants?—and Kaoru was walking on her own path.

Maybe this was Misaki’s chance.

“Hey, sorry, Kanon-san, but, uh... you know. I’m gonna talk to Kaoru, I think.” She spoke quietly enough that the others couldn’t hear her, and Kanon nodded.

“I get it, really! I’m glad you two are looking out for each other,” Kanon said. She squeezed her hand gently. “I’ll find my way home, so don’t worry.”

“Mhm. Talk to you soon.” Misaki leaned over and left a peck on her cheek. “Cutie.”

Kanon smiled at both the gesture and the nickname, her face flushing pink. “I’ll text you tonight, teddy bear.”

Misaki blushed at Kanon’s nickname for her, but before she could retaliate with something gayer, Kanon was already waving and walking away.

After taking a quick moment to compose herself, Misaki speed-walked after Kaoru, eventually catching up to her—though it took a bit more breath than she would have liked due to her long legs.

“Hey, uh, Kaoru-san. What’s up?”

Kaoru looked back at Misaki, a small smile appearing on her face. “Oh, I am simply thinking of... the starlight, you see. Ah, how fleeting it is, when one may see anything in the beautiful maze that the universe has set up for our eyes...”

Misaki nodded. “Uh-huh. Cool.” She took a breath in before speaking again. “Look, you can cut it out with all of that. I know you’re worried about something.”

“Hm? Whatever do you mean? Why, my mind is as clear as the lovely sky, my-“

“Kaoru-san. Stop.”

Kaoru stopped.

“Seriously, is something up with you? You know, you’ve helped me out a ton, so you can... uh, forget it, actually. I just, you know... I guess I’m worried about you, or something like that.”

Kaoru looked down at Misaki, seeming like she was thinking for a moment.

“Truly? Then... in such a case... ah, I suppose it cannot be helped. You see, I... happen to be in love.”

Misaki wasn’t expecting that to be the problem, but she smiled. “Oh, that’s kinda sweet. I didn’t really think you were the crushing type.”

“Well... I suppose I do not come across in such a way, but alas, it is true. When I encountered her the other day, we shared a brief conversation by a historic fountain... Misaki, her smile shone brighter than ever before, and her laugh could put any angel to shame, and the slight twinkle in her eyes when she realized I was there as well... ah, I cannot stand it for another moment. I must tell her.”

Misaki was trying her best to be empathetic here, but there was a very easy solution to Kaoru’s problem. “You could just... tell her, y’know.”

“I fear it is not so simple. You see, this is... an old friend of mine, one might say, and a woman whose happiness I value far more than my own.” Misaki was pretty sure that Kaoru valued herself less than literally every woman, but she opted to keep her mouth shut during Kaoru’s monologue. “Even if telling her my feelings would solve my problems, it would certainly be quite a conflict in her eyes. I wouldn’t want to be a bother.”

Misaki shook her head. “C’mon, you can’t not talk about that stuff forever. I mean...” She smiled a bit nervously. “You’re a great friend. You help Kanon-san a lot when she’s lost, you went above and beyond when I got into that fight with my parents, I’m pretty sure Hagumi thinks the world of you after all of the support you’ve given her... hell, if Kokoro was ever sad, I’ll bet you would’ve helped her, too. That’s just who you are. Anyone could see that.”

“Well, I suppose I do help people quite a bit, but... still, in love?”

“Look, just a hunch here, but... you’re talking about Shirasagi-senpai, right?” Misaki asked.

“So I was so obvious…” Kaoru placed a hand on her heart, a sigh escaping her lips. “Ah, I see how it must be. My heart has outshone my brain...”

It always did that with Kaoru, huh?

“Maybe a little, yeah,” Misaki admitted. “I don’t really know her well enough to know about that type of stuff, but she and Kanon-san are pretty close. I could set up a double date between us, maybe? I mean, I won’t call it that, obviously, but... you know, just to get you guys thinking about it. Those two hang out all the time, and we did all have that tea date once, so it won’t be a weird thing.”

Kaoru’s eyes lit up at that. “Ah—you would do such a thing for me?”

Misaki snorted, giving her shoulder a gentle shove. “Don’t worry about it. You’ve done a ton more for me. I’ll talk to Kanon-san and Shirasagi-senpai and we’ll handle it, okay?”

Kaoru smiled, chuckling lightly. “Thank you, my princess. I’ll be forever in your debt.”

“Seriously?” Misaki took a moment to laugh herself. “I thought I was in debt to you. You’re... honestly, you’re… you know. You’re a good person. And, uh... if some plain, unattractive nerd like me can get a cute girlfriend like Kanon-san, I know you’ve got a chance with Shirasagi-senpai.”

“Well... I suppose I cannot help but place my trust in you.” Kaoru really did look happy, or at the very least less nervous, and Misaki found some comfort in seeing her smile. “However, I fear we’ve spoken something too much of this. I’m sure we both have engagements to attend to, but... truly, I appreciate your praise, and your help.”

Misaki gave her one more comforting smile. “See you soon, Kaoru-san. I’ll text you with updates, okay?”

Kaoru nodded, waved and headed on her own way. Misaki did the same, pulling out her phone so she could text Kanon on the way home.

Kaoru would have to figure this out by herself eventually, but... damn it, after everything Kaoru had done for Misaki, Misaki was going to do something for her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misaki and Kanon set up a double date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this update at a reasonable morning hour brought to you by my desire to play animal crossing

Double dates. Those... were a thing, all right.

Misaki had kind of imagined that it would be fun to try one of those with Kanon one day. Maybe with Aya and Sayo, or with Eve, Maya, and Hagumi (if any of them happened to get their shit together and ask the other two out). It would be fun, probably. They could go out, maybe get some good food or some tea and have a pleasant chat together, walk around the park or the aquarium or the mall or the shopping district… an actual chance to relax.

Adding one of the dummies to the mix was a whole different story. She had no idea what Kaoru would be like on dates, but her guesses included ‘stupid’, ‘extravagant’, and ‘slightly narcissistic’.

Still, when they had gone out for tea with Aya back in their second year, Kaoru had seemed almost different—sure, she was still flamboyant and a bit dumb, but she looked... more down to earth, and happier as well.

And maybe Misaki was kind of glad that Kaoru had a chance at getting together with Chisato—who apparently was the girl of her dreams.

...Misaki was getting soft, huh? Still, she couldn’t say she minded.

She didn’t have Chisato’s contact information, but she knew Kanon did, so she could pass on the message about the date. Well, the “date”.

[Misaki] hey so i talked to kaoru  
[Kanon] Oh, that’s good! How’d it go?  
[Misaki] actually pretty good. turns out she’s just got a big crush so she was nervous about it  
[Kanon] She likes Chisato-chan, right?  
[Misaki] oh thank god  
[Kanon] ?  
[Misaki] it’s as obvious as i thought  
[Kanon] It is to me, since I know them both so well.   
[Misaki] really? has she told you or something?  
[Kanon] Not exactly, but we’ve talked about girls before, like how we used to talk about you before we started dating. She doesn’t talk much about girls she likes as much, but... I think the feeling might be mutual.  
[Kanon] Maybe it’s a hunch, but the way she talks about her sometimes is really sweet.  
[Misaki] no wait go back to that first thing  
[Kanon] ;)  
[Misaki] i mean i’m not gonna say i didn’t tell lisa about you a lot but we don’t have time to unpack all of that  
[Kanon] I love you, teddy bear. ♡  
[Misaki] love you too 💕  
[Misaki] anyway, i offered to set up a double date between us and them  
[Misaki] i was thinking that the next time shirasagi-senpai has the day off, we could all go out together?? maybe get lunch and then go to an aquarium?  
[Kanon] Are you sure? That’s more to my taste than anything.  
[Misaki] have you heard kaoru talk about clownfish before  
[Misaki] that’s why that can be shirasagi-senpai’s problem  
[Kanon] Do you want to know a secret about Chisato-chan?  
[Misaki] ?  
[Kanon] She really likes the clownfish, too.

Misaki briefly considered just sending “SCORE” in all caps, which was certainly her first reaction to that, but she decided that was more forward than she was willing to be. Maybe Kanon made her feel a lot more comfortable, but she wasn’t getting too invested in her friends' love lives yet.

[Misaki] nice  
[Misaki] can you ask shirasagi-senpai? i don’t have her number  
[Kanon] Of course! I’ll let you know what she says.  
[Misaki] thanks ♡

It took an hour of Misaki updating Kaoru on plans and trying to find a lunch place that felt slightly nicer than fast food or the restaurant that pretty much every band attended after pretty much every rehearsal, but Kanon eventually texted back.

[Kanon] She has a day off in a week and a half! She says she’s going to the gym in the morning, but we can all hang out in the afternoon and later!  
[Misaki] thank you so much. seriously  
[Misaki] i think it’s gonna be fun, actually

And it would be.

The day finally came a week and a half later, and Misaki met Kanon at her house. Neither of them had really dressed up, unless Misaki wearing a three-quarter-sleeve shirt instead of a hoodie counted, but they looked presentable. Cute, even.

“I like your lip gloss,” Misaki commented, smiling as she took Kanon’s hand.

“Oh, thanks! I just got this yesterday.” Kanon grinned, clearly appreciative of the compliment. “Do you want some?”

“Are you asking for a kiss, or are you letting me borrow the tube?” Misaki asked. “Either way, I’m okay with it.”

“I just think you look cuter when your face matches the color.” Kanon leaned in, placing a gentle kiss on Misaki’s lips—and as expected, her cheeks turned pink. “Like that.”

Misaki smiled. “It’s, um… wow. Yeah. Thanks for, uh, sharing.”

She started walking towards the restaurant where they had agreed to meet Kaoru and Chisato, and Kanon kept talking as they did.

“You said that we, you know… shouldn’t be any more public than that, though, right?”

“Yeah. Uh, sorry about that.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s your boundary, and it’s easy for me to be careful.” Kanon gently nudged her shoulder. “I like you too much for that, you know.”

Predictably, Misaki’s blush grew even brighter. “You, um, don’t need to say things like that... but I like you a lot, too.”

Kanon smiled at her, and Misaki found herself smiling back.

When they made it to the restaurant, Kaoru and Chisato were both already waiting there, talking.

”You can tell me you’re nervous, you know.”

“Nervous? Why, of course not. ‘Tis only expected that my preparation and past experience will pay off, despite the vast talent of my colleagues.”

“I know it’s your last audition, and the way you’re acting… never mind.”

“You don’t need to worry about me, either. I assure you, I shall not allow this last opportunity to go to waste.”

“I suppose that I should know by now that you won’t. Still, you… I suppose I could say that I believe in you.”

Kaoru’s hand flew to her heart. “Ah, thank you, Chisato. Your praise shall carry me through this trial.”

Chisato rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“Chisato-chan! Kaoru-san!” Kanon waved at them, seeming to notice a break in their conversation.

“Kanon!” Chisato waved back.

“Good day to the two of you,” Kaoru greeted.

“It’s good to see you guys,” Misaki said. “Thanks for hanging out with us, Shirasagi-senpai.”

“You can call me by my first name. This isn’t the first time we’ve spent time together, after all.” Chisato smiled politely at Misaki.

“Oh, okay. Thanks, Chisato-san.”

“Shall we sit down now?” Kaoru asked. “I asked to wait to take our seats until the two of you arrived, but there’s been a table ready for us.”

Kanon nodded. “That sounds great! Sorry for making you wait for us.”

“It’s fine. I’m just glad that we’re all here,” Chisato said. “We both came fifteen minutes early anyway.”

They headed to their table, and Kaoru kept talking. “It was quite amusing, actually. We both arrived at the same time, near to the second, fifteen minutes earlier than the time that we had agreed upon.”

Misaki snorted. “Fuckin’ theatre kids.”

“You wound me, my dear.”

Misaki slid into a booth next to Kanon, and Chisato moved in so Kaoru could sit next to her.

“Ah, I insist, you may have the aisle seat.”

“No, it’s fine. Really, I don’t have a preference.”

Kaoru wasn’t about to argue about this, even though one look into her eyes made it patently obvious that she was tempted to insist that Chisato took the more comfortable aisle side. Still, she sat beside her without protest, picking up the menu and looking at it.

“This is a nice place,” Chisato commented, looking down at the menu. “We have American-style food quite often, but this place looks a bit more upscale.”

It really did look nice. It was one of those fancy burger places, the type where a burger and fries cost 1500 yen—2000 for a veggie burger—with fancy red and white lights, artsy wooden pillars and brick walls painted white, the walls covered in vintage posters and quotes about how great they are in a bold, sans serif font. The burgers were actually made there, not just reheated, and the fries were truffle fries rather than actual ones.

“Yeah, I thought it would be nice. I mean, not like we don’t have burgers and stuff pretty often anyway, but they’ve got better stuff here.”

“Oh, they have actual cheddar!” Kanon said, seeming a bit surprised. “We don’t have that where I work.”

“Pray tell, what... exactly would you have, if not cheddar?” Kaoru asked.

“American cheese.”

“Is that why you tell me not to get cheese on mine whenever I stop by there?” Chisato asked. Kanon nodded wordlessly.

“It tastes like... salty plastic slime, and feels like peanut butter and glue on your mouth. I think you’re lucky if you’ve never had to try it,” Kanon said. “Maybe I’ll get a cheeseburger here, then...?”

Misaki nodded in agreement. “Yeah, you should.” She kept looking at the menu, trying to decide for herself.

It took a little bit of talking amongst themselves for everyone to decide, with the menu being as big as it was, but eventually everyone did. 

Chisato smiled as the conversation died down. “Are we all ready, then?”

“Mhm!”

“It does seem that way.”

“Yep.”

They placed their orders with little incident, and once that was over and done with, they went back to a normal conversation.

“So, what were you guys talking about when we got here?” Misaki asked.

“Ah, I should have expected that anyone as observant as the two of you would notice such a thing as that. I have an audition on Monday, and I’ve been spending the majority of my time preparing for it.”

Chisato nodded. “I still haven’t gotten a chance to hear her monologue.”

Kaoru smiled at her. “You’ve heard it many times before. It’s merely the same one I performed in our play together, even cut the same way.”

“Still, it would be nice to see how much you’ve improved. I know it’s been more than I ever thought,” Chisato said. Her hand traveled up to touch Kaoru’s shoulder, but she decided against that after a moment.

Kaoru blushed, trying to keep her composure even at such a small compliment. “You truly believe so?”

“I suppose I do. You’ve certainly improved since we first performed together... I only wish I could have seen you in middle school, so I could have a real idea of how much better you’ve gotten.”

“Trust me, my dear... _nobody_ wanted to see me in middle school. Perhaps people admired me then, but I embarrassed myself quite a bit.”

“Well, I suppose I understand. You already know how I feel about my movies from when I was a child.”

“I thought they were cute,” Kanon said. Chisato shook her head.

“Everyone always says that, but to me, it’s just embarrassing to look back on.”

“I get that. I mean, not with all of the cool acting stuff you guys do, but... god, the stuff I did in middle school. I used to be a writer,” Misaki said.

“I’m sure your writing was good!” Kanon said, smiling encouragingly.

“Oh, no. No it was not. Not unless you want to read about me pretending my favorite Pokémon game was haunted for clout.” Misaki almost laughed at herself there. “Ushigome-san and I were laughing at some of my old stuff the other day. It was... bad.”

Chisato smiled at that. “Remember when we used to play that together, Kaoru? Before my schedule... you know.”

Kaoru’s eyes lit up in recognition, and she found herself smiling as well. “Of course! I had nearly forgotten. I used to love battling together.”

“I remember that I used to let you win all of the time.”

“Ah, you... let me win?”

Chisato laughed. “Well, only sometimes.”

Misaki glanced at Kanon, not sure if she should be thrilled or surprised or both. She hadn’t seen Kaoru reminiscing like this in... ever, but as she and Chisato kept talking, it felt like the room lit up around them. Kanon looked back at her, seeming just as happy about it.

“I picked Snivy just because you did, you know.”

“Was that it? I thought you just liked grass types.”

“I did, but I admit, I liked Oshawott better. I really just thought you were quite cool.”

“I…” Chisato glanced away to hide how widely she was smiling. “I wasn’t even that good at the game, you know.”

“You say that, but you beat me so often… and you let me win just as often.”

“Are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you, Kaoru?”

Kanon laughed a bit at that one. Kaoru mostly just looked embarrassed.

“Don’t worry, Kaoru. It’s… we had fun together. Like always.”

Kaoru nodded. “Yes, I suppose we did… ah, do you remember walking Leon together? I got quite good at that eventually.”

“Eventually,” Chisato teased. “He’s an old man now, but he still likes his walks.”

They kept talking, topics changing from different periods of their childhood to the things they had done together now, with Misaki and Kanon hardly getting a word in edgewise—not that they minded, as overbearing as it occasionally felt.

Their food arrived eventually, and Kaoru and Chisato quickly realized that they had been dominating the table with their conversation.

“Oh, I...” Chisato hesitated for a moment. “I apologize. I suppose we talked too much.”

“Indeed, it seems that we did.”

Kanon smiled. “Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you two are having fun.”

Misaki nodded in agreement. “Yeah, it’s actually kinda nice.”

Chisato smiled back at them. “Well... if you think so. I suppose I’ll always enjoy thinking about those times.”

“What’s not to enjoy? Our childhood together was wonderful, filled to the brim with grand memories.” Kaoru took a small bite of her burger. “And each day, we shall continue to make new ones together, memories that will fade. Even ones so small as...”

Kaoru reached onto her plate, picked up a fry, and offered it to Chisato.

“Would you like a fry, fair maiden?”

Chisato laughed. Maybe that fry housewife thing that Aya had mentioned was less uncommon than she had first thought.

Kaoru, meanwhile, looked confused. “Ah... did I say something strange?”

“Fair maiden?” Misaki asked, amused. “Why that nickname?”

“It’s quite simple, really. As one can presume, she is a young woman—therefore, a maiden—and, er, as for the fair part...” Kaoru blushed. Kanon giggled, and Misaki had to hold back the temptation to do the same.

Kaoru was about to open her mouth in an embarrassed attempt to explain what she meant (although it was clear that ‘girl hot’ was the majority of it) when they heard a voice. A clear, familiar voice.

“Misaki!”

Ah, fuck.

Kokoro was sprinting towards them, and Misaki began praying that a bounce house, unicorn, or rocket en route to the moon would suddenly appear so that she would be distracted from crashing the date.

Alas, it could not be.

“Hey, Kokoro. What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I wanted a burger! But now you guys are here, and we can all hang out!” Kokoro smiled widely.

“So, what’re you guys doing?”

“We’re just...” Misaki tried to find a way to communicate that they were both on a double date and trying not to call it a double date at the same time, but then remembered that Kokoro did nuance and subtlety about as well as Kanon did directions, Chisato did trains, and Kaoru did getting to the point. “...vibing.”

Kokoro gasped. “I love vibing!” She slid herself into the booth next to Kaoru and Chisato, pushing them a bit closer to each other—something neither of them minded, not that they would admit that.

“We were going to go to the aquarium after this,” Kanon said.

“Cool!” Kokoro looked excited, rocking back and forth in her seat. Chisato glanced between Kaoru and Kanon with a look that asked ‘is she always like this?’

Kokoro was waiting for something, certainly. She was looking at Misaki—not the others, for whatever reason—with a curious stare.

Misaki sighed. “Fine. You can come with us.”

“Yay! Thank you!”

She looked like she was prepared to fling herself across the table to hug Misaki, although she thankfully didn’t do that.

Kanon finished the last of her burger, looking around at the others. Most of them were almost done, too.

“Do any of you want dessert?” she asked. “It looks like we’re all just about done, so...”

Misaki shook her head. “Nah. Maybe we can get tea and cake or something after the aquarium, but I’m kinda full for now.”

“Hm, tea would be nice.” Chisato smiled. “I agree with Misaki-chan. Let’s wait a bit.”

Kaoru nodded. “I am fine with either, but it seems that the crowd has spoken. Kanon, Kokoro, is that all right with you?”

“Mhm! Tea sounds better, anyway.”

“Yep, yep! I wanna go see the fishies!” Kokoro leapt up, and Kaoru gently pulled her down by the sleeve.

“Hold on, Kokoro,” Misaki said. “We have to pay first. I’ll get the bill.”

“No, no, I insist. I shall pay,” Kaoru said. “It is my responsibility, and only fair.”

Misaki shook her head. “Nope. I’m the one who invited you guys out. I get to pay.”

“But you know as well as I do that I am the reason that we are here today. Come, allow me.”

“Um... why don’t we just split the bill?” Kanon asked. “I’m okay with that...”

Chisato nodded. “Right. We’re all together as friends, so it only makes sense that we all pay our share.”

“I’ll pay for it!” Kokoro offered.

Chisato looked at her. “Kokoro-chan will pay for it.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Thanks, Kokoro-chan!”

“Ah, what a fleeting sacrifice that fair Kokoro has made for us...”

After paying and leaving, the five were now on their way to the aquarium. Kanon took Misaki’s hand in hers, Kaoru and Chisato remained close to each other as they walked, and Kokoro proudly led the group, standing at the front.

Suddenly, she had a thought!

“Where’s Hagumi?” Kokoro asked.

“Oh, uh...” Misaki shrugged. “I don’t know. She’s probably working at the shop right now.”

“Chisato! You play bass, right?”

“Oh, you noticed. Yes, I do.”

“And... with Kaoru, Misaki, Kanon, you, and me, that means we have a whole band, right?”

“...oh, you noticed.”

Kokoro spun around, stopping the other four in their tracks.

“Let’s perform, right here!”

“...I’m sorry?” Chisato asked.

Kaoru looked vaguely excited, Kanon looked nervous, and Misaki looked tired, but they all shared one thing in common—none of them were surprised.

“Is this group always like this?”

“Like what?” Kaoru asked.

Chisato sighed deeply. “Never mind.” She looked at Kokoro. “We don’t have our instruments. How on earth are we supposed to-“

As if on cue, their instruments were gently set down by a drone—Chisato didn’t even want to question how they got her bass—as well as the Michelle suit.

The very empty Michelle suit.

Misaki put her head in her hands as Kokoro and Kaoru knelt beside the suit. She knew what was about to happen.

“Michelle! Hello, Michelle! Wake up! We’re gonna play a show!”

Michelle, surprisingly enough, did not wake up.

“My princess, I beg of you, awaken... we must perform for the masses!”

Misaki sighed. “Guys, Michelle’s just tired. I’m a DJ, too, why don’t we just-“

“No, that is far from the problem. Fair Michelle needs an ambulance!”

Chisato took Kaoru’s hand, sighing as she pulled her up. “Michelle doesn’t need an ambulance. You know that.”

“I... well...” Kaoru glanced at Kokoro, who still looked devastated. “She most certainly does! If not, she could be in serious danger.”

“Why don’t you... play for me instead?” Chisato asked. “I’ve heard that a guitar can work wonders for a bear’s health, especially the... fluffy, pink variety.”

“If you truly believe that I could help poor Michelle, then...” Kaoru picked up her guitar, smiling at Chisato. “I suppose I could.”

While Kaoru was playing Wonderwall, Misaki and Kanon went up to Michelle to try to calm Kokoro down before she actually called an ambulance.

“Hey, uh, Kokoro... don’t worry, okay?” Misaki said. Kokoro glanced up at her, a worried look on her face.

“But Michelle won’t wake up, and we’re about to play a live!”

“It’s okay, Kokoro-chan... here, do you want a hug?” Kanon opened her arms for her, and after a brief moment of hesitation, Kokoro leapt into them.

Misaki glanced at the two of them. “I’ll do, uh... bear CPR, okay? Special technique. Works 100% of the time.” She gave Kanon a look that said ‘make sure Kokoro looks away’, and once Kanon nodded, Misaki climbed into the suit.

As soon as she was fully in and gave Kanon a thumbs-up, Kanon gasped. “Kokoro-chan, look! Michelle is okay!”

Kokoro looked, and Kaoru played another few chords on her guitar before looking as well.

“Ah... it’s a miracle! Michelle is saved!”

“Yay!” Kokoro hugged Michelle tight, and Misaki smiled.

“Mhm, mhm! Sorry for the wait, everyone!” Michelle waved at the others. “Now, let’s play our show!”

Kaoru and Kokoro quickly joined her, but Kanon took a moment.

“Chisato-chan, are you going to be okay?” Kanon asked. “I mean, you haven’t practiced with us...”

“It’s all right.” Chisato smiled at her. “I would hate to be the reason that you all can’t have fun. Besides, er...” She blushed a bit. “Don’t tell Kaoru that I said this, but I listen to your songs a lot. I know them well enough to improvise something.”

Kanon nodded. “Okay! I just wanted to make sure. Let’s play, then!”

Chisato picked up her bass, and Kanon sat down by her drums.

“Hi, everyone! We’re Hello, Happy World, minus Hagumi plus Chisato, and we’re here to make the world smile!” Kokoro called out. “This is Orchestra of Smiles!”

Kaoru glanced at Chisato, making sure she was okay, and Chisato smiled back at her.

Chisato spent the few songs they played trying to figure out what exactly to play. She knew the rhythm, but little else—even though her brain naturally focused on Hagumi’s part, she had never been one to play by ear until now. Kaoru and Kanon both ended up a bit distracted by worrying about her, but their dedication to keeping up the rhythm to help her out was strong enough that Kanon ended up doing a pretty good job, and Kaoru fully believed that it was one of the best performances that either of them had done. Misaki, meanwhile, felt a bit more comfortable in the January cold—the Michelle suit was warmer than her date clothes, and she managed to give a good performance. Kokoro, consistent with her proclaimed love for just vibing, was just vibing. She had a blast singing through the songs in the set that she made up, and that excitement shone through to the people around them—eventually, a crowd formed, and the show ended strong.

“Thank you, everyone! You were all wonderful!” Chisato called out, waving to them.

“Everyone’s smiling! Isn’t it great?” Kokoro asked, both to her bandmates and the crowd.

“Indeed... no need to wait long, little kittens. I shall perform again soon.” Kaoru winked, and Chisato was pretty sure that a couple of the girls in the crowd fainted.

The girls went to talk among themselves, and the suits waited for the crowd to disappear before they put the instruments back in their cases to be transported.

“That was so fun!” Kokoro said, grinning even brighter than before. She looked a bit sweaty, but no worse for wear. “Let’s go to the aquarium now!”

Chisato nodded. She looked much more tired, which wasn’t surprising—she wasn’t used to how intense their concerts tended to get.

“Are you going to be all right?”

“I’m fine, Kaoru. I can rest when we get there.” Chisato spoke in a tone that was a bit more harsh than she intended, perhaps, but she hoped that her gratefulness for Kaoru’s concern showed. “Let’s just go.”

“Wait! Where’s Misaki?” Kokoro asked, looking around. “She disappeared! We can’t go without Misaki!”

“I think Misaki just... went home!” Michelle suggested.

Kanon nodded, knowing that disagreeing would just drag this out longer. “She put a lot of work into planning this, so maybe she got tired...?”

“But wouldn’t she have told someone...?” Kokoro looked confused, and Chisato decided to step in.

“She, um... she told me. To avoid making any of you sad.”

It was a flimsy explanation, maybe, but Kokoro looked convinced.

“Wow, that’s so nice! Michelle, tell Misaki I said thank you!”

“No problem!”

Kokoro turned the group another direction. “Let’s all go home, then!”

“Home?” Michelle asked.

“Well, yeah!” Kokoro was acting like it was obvious. “We can’t go without Misaki! She’s the one who planned this, so if she went home because she was tired, that means we should go another day!”

Misaki knew that there was no way to argue this without Michelle looking mean, and she was pretty sure that would break Kokoro’s heart for the ten seconds it took before she forgot. “Well, sure! They don’t let bears into aquariums anyway!” Misaki wasn’t sure that anyone had ever tried to put a bear in an aquarium, but it seemed like the type of thing that would be disallowed. “I’ll see you later!”

The group waved at Michelle as she left, heading back in a direction that was suspiciously similar to the direction that Misaki’s house was in.

“I’ll go with her and make sure she gets home safe!” Kanon said, which was a thinly-veiled excuse for going to Misaki’s house to make out with her.

“Oh, okay! Bye, Michelle! Bye, Kanon!” Kokoro called out, before turning back to look at Kaoru and Chisato. “I’m gonna go back and get a burger! They looked pretty good, and I’m kinda hungry!”

“We’ll see you soon, then. Be sure to tell us all about it,” Kaoru said.

“Don’t worry, I will! Bye, Chisato! Bye, Kaoru!”

Kokoro sped off, and the two of them were left alone.

Chisato turned to look at Kaoru. “I don’t suppose that you still… you know, want to go to the aquarium? I know that Kanon said that it was her idea, but you said something about you influencing it as well, so…”

“Ah, well... I did, but the plan was Misaki’s. Going out together was simply something I approved of before she asked any of you.” Kaoru thought for a moment. “Why don’t we get some tea? I know you suggested that earlier, and it seems like a good end to today.”

Chisato smiled. “That... actually sounds lovely. Thank you, Kaoru.”

She briefly reached out to take her hand, but hesitated, pulling it back. Kaoru didn’t even seem to notice, and she breathed a small sigh of relief.

“Where would you like to go? You know the places around here much better than I do.”

“Hm...” Chisato glanced over at the direction they were headed. “How about the café that we went to last time, with Kanon and the others? I’ve been thinking of trying to switch stations again.”

“I would love that. Then, shall we go?” Kaoru asked, gesturing dramatically to the station.

Chisato smiled, slightly endeared by it now that she knew it was genuine. “We shall.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don’t have anything eloquent to say just stan hhw


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru and Chisato see some friends at the café.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was... definitely not updated a few hours later than i wanted to because i forgot. i have never forgotten in my life

Kaoru and Chisato made it to the café after a train ride that was much less stressful than they anticipated—it turned out that Chisato had gotten better at trains since they had gone to this teahouse with Kanon, Aya, and Misaki—and with Kaoru’s help, they made it there with little incident.

“Perhaps it would have been fun to get a bit lost,” Chisato teased as they walked towards the café. “Like the last time we went here, if you remember.”

“Of course I remember. In fact, if that craft fair hadn’t been temporary, I would have been more than content if you wanted to buy rings again today after we get our tea,” Kaoru said, smiling. “I still have mine, in fact. I keep it in a ring box at my house when I’m not wearing it... ah, that day was special to me, I admit.”

“I still have mine, too. Aya-chan and I have taken to wearing ours during performances. Only if they match our outfits, of course.”

“Ah, do you? Perhaps I’ll start wearing mine when I come to see your shows.”

Chisato felt happy at that suggestion. It secured a certainty in her mind—the fact that there were things Kaoru did specifically for her, for no reason other than that she wanted to. “Maybe you could.”

“Ah, there it is!” Kaoru gestured to the tea house, and Chisato followed the direction of her arm. Sure enough, that was it—the same brown building as before, clearly lit by off-white lights inside and with a small sign advertising their 3D latte art on the window. Chisato supposed that they were really pushing that as their main selling point, even though the drinks were good enough that they really didn’t need to.

Kaoru stepped in front of her to hold open the door for her, and Chisato smiled politely. She would tell her there was no need, but that was the sort of thing that was just an impulse for Kaoru.

“Thank you, Kaoru.”

Hearing her name, two pairs of eyes in the shop glanced over at the door.

“Kaoru-kun! Over here!” Hagumi waved from where she was sitting, right next to Rimi. “Rimirin’s here, too!”

“K... Kaoru-san...!” Rimi’s face, predictably, turned firetruck red. “Um, hi! And, um, Chisato-senpai!”

Kaoru glanced over at Chisato, who nodded, and they walked over to sit at their table.

As soon as she realized that they were heading over, Rimi chugged her whole hot chocolate—including the latte art, which left a suspiciously Kaoru-shaped milk residue around her mouth. Hagumi quickly wiped it off for her.

Kaoru pulled out Chisato’s chair for her before sitting down in her own, and Chisato sighed. Some things never changed. Rimi looked like she was holding back the ‘so are you two on a date?’ question with every bone in her body.

“So, what brings the two of you here?” Kaoru asked.

“Oh! We just wanted to hang out!” Hagumi said. “We were gonna invite Himari-chan, too, but she said she was busy, so it’s just us!”

“We’re, u-um... we’re having fun! Though!” Rimi added the word as an afterthought, like she had forgotten to say it in her embarrassment. “Um, the drinks here... they’re, um, really good!”

Chisato looked at Rimi’s bright red face and then back at Kaoru. “...Kaoru, would you be a dear and order our drinks?”

“Of course. Shall I request anything special for latte art? Ah, unless you’d rather get tea.”

“Hm...” Chisato thought for a moment. “I think I’ll just get tea this time.”

“All right. You like the açaí berry kind, don’t you?” Kaoru asked.

Chisato nodded. “Iced, if you would.”

“Not a problem.” She stood up, walking up to the counter to order for both of them.

That was enough for Rimi to calm down for a moment. “Wow, she knows your order and everything...!” She sighed, a smile appearing on her face. “I wonder if she knows mine...”

“You like hot chocolate, right?” Hagumi asked.

“Yeah, but... if Kaoru-san knew that...!” Rimi’s face flushed pink again at the thought.

“I’m... I’m sure she could figure it out.” Chisato felt her own cheeks heat up at the thought that Kaoru remembering her order might be something special. She always thought that was just something they _did_ , like inviting each other to their performances or calling each other ‘Kao-chan’ and ‘Chii-chan’ or that it was one of those things that Kaoru did for everyone, like opening doors for people or answering their calls in the late hours of the night—and if Chisato was pressed, she was sure that she could remember Kaoru’s order, too.

She liked black coffee when she was studying lines, but when they just happened to meet together, she preferred simple rose and lemon tea—and when they went here, she had gotten a green tea latte with rose latte art.

“Chisato-senpai?” Hagumi asked, waving a hand in front of her face. Chisato snapped out of it.

“Hm? My apologies, I was just thinking.” She smiled politely.

“You and Kaoru-kun have both been acting so weird!” Hagumi stood up, looking as determined as ever. “That’s it! I’m gonna ask her what’s up!”

She looked over at the line and realized that Kaoru had just made it to the front of it, and her face fell.

“You can tell her later, Hagumi-chan...!” Rimi said, tugging her down by the sleeve. “Um, people are going to... look at us, you know?”

“Hm... okay! But you guys gotta stop being weird, okay? I’m getting worried!”

Worrying Hagumi made Chisato feel a bit guilty—not that she didn’t feel guilty enough about effectively replacing her when they had done that show earlier that day. Maybe it wasn’t her fault that Kokoro had shown up when she did, but it still felt weird.

Still, she wished she had taken pictures. Hagumi would have liked to see her bandmates having fun.

Kaoru returned, glancing at her phone for a moment before she returned it to her pocket and sat down.

“Is there something interesting going on?” Chisato asked.

“Ah, not particularly. Maya just wanted me to help out with a mic check later tonight, so I’m afraid that I may need to take my leave a bit early.”

“How early?” Hagumi spoke up, thinking that her walk back to the train would be the perfect time to ask what was going on.

“Around twenty minutes, perhaps? That should give me plenty of time to return to the theater.”

Chisato was about to admonish her for not saying anything, but then she realized just how much time that street performance had taken up—they probably would have been home from the aquarium by now, and Haneoka was infinitely closer to Kaoru’s house than it was to the café. “Well... I had fun today.” She wasn’t quite used to saying that to her yet, but each time it escaped her lips, it felt more natural. She almost felt like she wanted to say that a lot more.

“Well, I haven’t left yet,” Kaoru said, looking mildly amused. “Let’s at least enjoy this.”

“You’re right. I suppose I got carried away.”

Rimi hesitated for a moment. “Um, Kaoru-san... what are you working on?” she asked. “Right now, um... for theatre? I haven’t heard much from Himari-chan about it, so, um...”

Kaoru smiled, looking somewhat endeared by her nervousness. “Ah, I’m auditioning for our rendition of _Taming of the Shrew_.”

“Oh! Um, that’s... that’s really wonderful!” Rimi said, her unfamiliarity with the play showing. “What, you know... what role do you...?”

“I would quite like to play Lucentio. We’re permitted to use any classic piece as our audition monologue, however, so I have decided to read as Romeo. A great callback to olden days...”

“Kaoru, that was only a year ago.” Chisato wasn’t sure if she should be mildly amused or mildly annoyed, but she tended towards the first.

“But it truly feels like a lifetime, does it not?”

Chisato didn’t say anything to that, but... yeah, it really did, didn’t it?

She had changed so much. She had feelings she didn’t understand, and new situations that she had no clue how to navigate.

But more than anything, she realized that she wasn’t scared of being alone for the role she played anymore. She had Hina, Eve, Maya... Aya, one of her best friends and the only person who really knew the details about her feelings for Kaoru... Kanon, who had always been willing to support her through any hardship...

...and she had Kaoru, too. Maybe that was where she was luckiest—someone who had seen her at her worst, her most terrified and her most pitiful and her most upset, even her cruelest, and stayed by her side regardless. Someone who she could go to when she couldn’t go to anyone else. Someone who she knew was a true friend, and someone who she liked the idea of coming home to at the end of the day.

There she went. She was thinking too hard again. She was getting ahead of herself.

Because if she told Kaoru she liked her, then she would reject her, and then Chisato would get upset when Kaoru rejected her, and then Kaoru would say they could still be friends, and then Chisato had made their friendship awkward for no reason.

It was vicious, but it was true. Next to admirers like Rimi, people who were able to be so open with her—hell, Rimi was probably trying her hardest to flirt with her while Chisato spent the whole time stuck in her own head—she didn’t have a chance.

After all of the fun she had had with Kaoru today, all of the reminiscing they had done together and all of the laughter they shared, she had thought that she was done with her nerves—but that little bit of hesitation could never go away.

Kaoru felt herself grow nervous, too. The minutes ticked down, and even as she got up to get their drinks, Chisato barely spoke more than a ‘thank you’. Had she said something wrong...? Had she messed it all up?

It wasn’t surprising, really. Her dramatics were too much, and even after everything that had happened, maybe Chisato had given up.

Kaoru wasn’t going to give up, though. She couldn’t. Not on Chisato. They relied on each other, they _needed_ each other, even though they needed their other friends, too. One awkward moment wasn’t going to hurt the bond they had.

“I apologize, er... it’s 7:30. I had best get back to the theater.”

Kaoru stood up, praying that her confident poise hid the fact that she had walked out of this feeling more nervous than she expected.

“I’ll see you all soon, all right?”

Chisato looked back up at her.

...what was she doing? She could tell Kaoru was worrying about something. She could see it in her eyes... she may be able to minimize it in front of Rimi and even Hagumi, but Chisato knew her better than that.

“Of course,” Chisato said. She willed herself to say something, _anything_ , more. “And, er... Kaoru?”

Kaoru turned back to face her. “Hm?”

“It’s... it’ll be okay. I believe in you.”

Her eyes widened for half a second before she took a deep breath and spoke again. “The same to you, my...” She hesitated, trying to find the right term of endearment to use. “...my dearest friend.”

“Ah, wait!” Hagumi hopped out of her seat. The gravity of the situation in both of their minds was lost on her, but she knew something was up, and she couldn’t leave Kaoru alone. “I wanna walk to the train with you! Can I?”

Kaoru thought for a moment. “Of course you may, Hagumi.”

And so they were off. Rimi and Chisato were left in the café, waiting for them to return.

“Kaoru-kun, you’ve been super weird today! And last rehearsal, too... I know Mii-kun talked to you, but I’m worried, too! ‘Cause I’m your friend, too!”

Kaoru didn’t know how to word her response, so Hagumi kept talking.

“And Kano-chan-senpai and Mii-kun both know what’s up, and I want to, too! ‘Cause if you’re still not smiling, that means I can do more, and I wanna help!”

Hagumi sounded as optimistic as always, but she was visibly worried, too. Kaoru wasn’t sure how to handle it.

“Hagumi, I truly appreciate your concern. I do so with all of my heart. But... there is nothing to worry about. I admit that I have been a bit nervous lately, but it is something I must work out on my own.” She sighed. “I have... feelings for Chisato, you see. And I am trying to make peace with the fact that I will never be her lover. Once I do so, I’ll be perfectly fine... but it will take time.” She smiled at Hagumi, patting her shoulder. “And I’m infinitely thankful for your support. You’re a wonderful friend, you know.”

Hagumi’s face lit up pink at that, and she smiled. “Really? I am?”

Kaoru smiled back at her. “Of course you are. The very fact that you are here truly means the world to me.”

She couldn’t make her worries go away. They were hurting her more than she was going to let on, but... this wasn’t Hagumi’s problem. It wasn’t Misaki or Kanon’s, either. This was all her, and one way or another, she was going to be the friend that Chisato deserved.

“Yay! Thanks, Kaoru-kun!” Hagumi was practically beaming. “So, are you gonna be okay? Did I help?”

“I certainly am, and you certainly did.”

“I’m gonna head back and make sure Chisato-senpai’s okay, then, but...” Hagumi looked up at her, still a bit nervous. “Talk to me. Okay, Kaoru-kun? ‘Cause... you’re part of the world, too, so I want you to smile!”

She reached out to hug her, and Kaoru chuckled lightly as she put her arms around her. “I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you, Hagumi... truly.”

They released each other from the hug, Kaoru went towards the train, and Hagumi returned to the coffee shop.

She felt... a little better, maybe. Kaoru knew that Hagumi couldn’t solve all of her problems—and Hagumi knew that, too—but knowing that her bandmates were there for her helped more than she thought.

Misaki had told her that she had always been there for all of them. Maybe Kaoru could let herself play with the idea that she deserved that kind of love in return, too.

Hagumi returned to the coffee shop, trying her best to rack her brain for a solution—but none came to mind. She understood what was going on with Kaoru, for the most part, since her heart got fuzzy and her legs got all wobbly every time she thought about asking Maya or Eve out, but that meant she didn’t know how to solve it, either.

Why couldn’t it be something easy, like Kaoru wanting to become a jewel thief? Hagumi had always wanted to pull off a heist or something cool like that. Maybe she could get Kokoro to set one up in her house, and the suit ladies could dress up as cops… Hagumi had gotten a cow costume, so the suits could probably get pig costumes, too!

And just like that, Hagumi had successfully turned Kaoru’s problem into an idea, and the problem still remained completely unsolved.

“Chisato-senpai! Rimirin!” Hagumi grinned, waving at them.

“Hagumi-chan!” Rimi waved right back. “Um, is Kaoru-san all right...?”

“Yep, she’s okay! She just needed a hug and a friend!” Hagumi sat back down, looking at Chisato and remembering that she had been acting weird, too. “You okay?”

“Hm? Whatever do you mean?”

“You were... um, a little bit out of it,” Rimi admitted. “Is something wrong?”

Chisato couldn’t dare tell them. She hadn’t even been entirely honest with Aya or Kanon, two of her closest friends—and as much as she loved Hagumi and Rimi, they weren’t nearly at that level.

“Ah, I’ve just... not much, really. A few problems with my confidence, if anything.”

Hagumi thought for a moment. “Hm... how about you do something to make you feel confident, then?”

“Like what?” Chisato asked. “Really, there isn’t much more that I can do than wait it out, so I’d appreciate-“

“How about shopping?” Rimi suggested. “You could vary your wardrobe a little, find something that makes you feel cute... shopping for costumes with Poppin’ Party always made me feel a lot stronger, so even though you wear professional costumes with Pastel*Palettes, you could just buy normal clothes!”

“Normal clothes?” Chisato asked. And then she thought about it for a moment. It was true that her wardrobe wasn’t exactly the most diverse, and she did have a habit of staying inside of her comfort zone. Maybe this could be fun. “I’m not sure, really...”

“It’ll be super fun!” Hagumi said. “You could invite your bandmates!”

“Well... maybe...”

“They’d love it!” Hagumi said, and Rimi nodded along.

“They really would! Eve-chan’s a model, and she always looks so stylish... oh, what if you invited Lisa-san?” Rimi suggested.

“Lisa-chan?” Chisato asked. “Well, I suppose she knows a lot about those things... maybe it would be fun.”

“It would definitely be fun!” Hagumi agreed. “And we’re gonna support you, too, okay?”

Chisato smiled at that. “Well... I knew that much.” She took a sip of her tea. “I’ll ask them tonight. I have a day off on Wednesday, so maybe then...?”

“Ah, Maya-san and I had tickets to a movie then...” Rimi said. “Sorry about that, Chisato-senpai.”

“It’s all right. It’ll all be in the same place anyway, so I’ll ask to meet with her afterwards... hm.”

Hagumi and Rimi shared an excited glance. Chisato looked like she was really considering this.

“I’ll think about this later, I suppose.” She smiled at them, setting her phone back down on the table. “Why don’t we just enjoy our drinks for now?”

Hagumi smiled. “Yeah, let’s do that!”

Chisato couldn’t act like her worries about Kaoru were completely gone, but... she still had people on her side. She still had Kaoru on her side, too, even if it wasn’t in the way she wanted.

She was going to go out and have a good day, no matter what. She could do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i said i peaked at kaoru wonderwall but that was a lie. i actually peaked at antifa hagumi


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chisato goes clothes shopping.

That Wednesday, Chisato found herself standing at the mall with Aya and Eve, waiting for Lisa. Hina hadn’t been able to make it—something about her sister inviting her out to a museum—but with Lisa and the other two there, it would feel less empty.

“Are you sure Lisa-chan is coming?” Chisato asked, checking her phone for the time.

“Mhm! She told me she’d be here after rehearsal, which...” Aya glanced over her shoulder. “Ended 20 minutes ago...?”

“It’s not far from here to CiRCLE, so maybe she wanted to help one of her bandmates with something?” Eve suggested.

“Hm, that would make sense. Lisa-chan does strike me as the sort to do that.”

As if on cue, Lisa jogged up to them, her breathing a bit heavy as she stopped. “Sorry about that! Yukina was having trouble with the rhythm in a song, so the two of us stayed behind for a little. It’s all good now, though!”

“It’s all right.” Chisato smiled politely, trying her hardest not to say anything about her lateness—this wasn’t exactly a formal meeting.

“You’re all really amazing… I can’t believe you could figure that out without even having the whole band stay behind!”

“Well, they didn’t really need to, um… you know, Yukina and I just had to do a couple of things.”

Chisato almost expected the words ‘I’m things’ to escape her mouth after that attempt at an explanation, but they did not. Aya still looked just as impressed, somehow.

“Oh, that sounds fun!” Eve said. “Wow, I wonder if Maya-san and I could coordinate like that!”

Lisa snorted. “And Hagumi-chan, too, right?”

“It would be fun to work with her, but… Chisato-san’s our bassist!” Eve pointed out.

Lisa and Chisato shared a look.

“Well, I stood in for Hagumi when I went out with Kaoru, Kanon, and Misaki-chan… and Kokoro, as it turned out. I wouldn’t mind the three of you working together for a change.”

“Really?” Aya asked. “Then maybe she should join in on our rehearsal sometime, just for fun! Or we should come to one of hers!”

Chisato didn’t know how they had gotten to this conversation from Lisa trying to pretend she wasn’t making out with Yukina before she got here, but she didn’t mind the idea of Hagumi getting her spotlight back. Going to one of Kaoru’s rehearsals might be a bit more awkward, but she really would like to see her again.

“If our agency is all right with it, then I don’t see why not. Anyway, should we go?”

“Sure!” Aya smiled at her, and Chisato smiled back. Maybe she could have fun here.

“So, why’d you ask us to come?” Lisa asked. “Are you looking for outfits for a date or something?”

Chisato felt a slight heat rise to her face. She knew that this was at least partially because of Kaoru, but she didn’t expect Lisa to be able to hit the nail on the head like that.

“Not quite! Chisato-san said she thought that getting more clothes would make her feel confident, and you have an adorable style, so I thought it would be nice to ask you, too!” Eve responded before Chisato got the chance. Still, Lisa gave her a look.

Chisato nodded, thankful to Eve for saving her. “Rimi-chan suggested it, since I seemed to know what I was talking about at the flea market.” She smiled at the rest of the group. “She wasn’t entirely right, though. I have a lot of my clothes picked out for me, so I don’t have a particular personal style.” She felt a slight aura of jealousy radiating off of Aya as she said that. “I hope that I can try a few different things today.”

Lisa and Eve’s eyes both lit up at that. “I know a bunch of good places here!” Lisa said.

“Oh! I do, too!”

Aya’s lack of input made it seem that she did not, but Chisato was glad to have her there as support. Getting dragged around by Eve and Lisa all day sounded like it would get exhausting.

“Try this store! You’d look super cute in a lot of this stuff.” Lisa turned into a store, the other three following behind her.

Chisato took a moment to look around. A lot of the clothes were cute—although quite a few of them looked like a bit too much for her. She wasn’t too familiar with gal style, but this place definitely looked like it was—short skirts and ripped jeans, varieties of sweaters and hoodies and shirts… everything was different, but everything also looked a bit more outrageous than Chisato was used to. Maybe that was a good thing.

Eve and Aya both looked around, fascinated. Aya wandered over to a smaller section with some cute clothes, while Eve looked at some of the different styles of shirts adorned with logos. Eventually, Lisa returned with a couple of piles of clothes, handing them over.

“Here, try these on! The piles go together, they’re their own outfits.”

Eve and Aya both seemed like they were in their own little worlds, but Lisa walked over to them, presumably to let them know that she had found something. Chisato glanced down at the two piles before walking into the dressing room.

She tried on the one on the left first. It was definitely darker—the colors were all black, and the shirt that came with it looked uncomfortably tiny, low-cut with thin straps. Thankfully, it had a hoodie with it—black and fur-lined with a silver zipper—so she felt a bit less exposed, even as she unzipped the hoodie to halfway down her torso. The jeans that came with it looked black at first glance, but were actually a navy blue, and had large tears at the knee. When she put them on, she struggled a bit finding the hole for her legs to go through, accidentally sticking them through the ripped parts a few times before finally getting it right.

Looking at herself in the mirror, Chisato felt completely out of place. The store didn’t sell any shoes that she could try on, and her pale yellow flats looked comically out of place when she slipped them back on. Her hairstyle looked a bit too prim and proper for a tough-looking style like this, so she pulled it out of her normal hairstyle, pulling it up in a high ponytail instead. Her chest looked uncomfortably bare (although the outfit showed less cleavage than she had originally thought), but she supposed Lisa would suggest accessories for that.

She stepped out of the fitting room, and Aya and Eve both audibly gasped.

“Wow, Chisato-chan! You look amazing!”

Lisa grinned. “I know, right? I knew she’d look good in this style.” 

Eve nodded. “She does! How do you feel, Chisato-san?”

How _did_ Chisato feel about this outfit? The others thought it was nice, and if Kaoru saw her like this, she was pretty sure she would think she was hot.

“I’m not sure. I like it, but...”

“But it isn’t really you?” Lisa asked, and Chisato nodded. “I thought you might think that, yeah. Maybe some other time?”

Chisato considered the idea of ‘later’. “I think so, yes. Maybe sometime soon.”

Lisa nodded, seeming to understand. “Try on the other one, then!”

“Oh! Yes, yes!” Eve smiled excitedly, and seeing her grinning like that made Chisato suddenly feel the urge to change into the other outfit as quickly as possible. She stepped back in the dressing room to try the other one.

The second outfit was much less edgy-looking. There was a pale yellow sweater that fell to the side of both of her shoulders and proudly read “LOVE”, a dark blue camisole that Chisato assumed was meant to go under it, and a dark blue skirt that only fell about six centimeters below her hips. She found herself tugging it down a bit as she stood in front of the mirror, feeling rather exposed, but it didn’t do much to help.

Still, she stepped out of the fitting room, figuring she would get more comfortable eventually.

“Chisato-chan, that’s so cute!”

Aya was the first to say anything, her hands clasped together in front of her as she smiled excitedly. Chisato smiled back, avoiding the urge to tug her skirt down again. “Oh, is it?”

Lisa nodded. “Yeah, you’ve got legs. And you can pull off a cute look like that.”

Eve looked a bit uncertain, though, judging by her expression. “Do you like it?”

Chisato looked down at herself and realized that she was unsure. “Well, it is a bit... I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”

Lisa nodded. “I get it. It is kinda revealing.”

“It’s okay! I think I can help. I know another store we can try!” Eve was practically beaming. “You’ve got such a mature look, so you’d suit it super well!”

“Hm... well, maybe.” Chisato nodded. “I can try that.”

Eve led the group into the next store—and like before, it was a feeding frenzy into the outfits. Lisa and Aya looked like two little kids in a candy store, wide-eyed and looking through the clothes. Everything here looked just a bit more businesslike, a bit more proper, and a lot more modest—not that it was completely devoid of cute patterns and flairs, but for the most part, it all looked very adult. Unlike the last store, Chisato was pretty sure that she wouldn’t have any wardrobe malfunctions here. She felt... safer. A lot safer.

A few minutes later, Eve confidently handed her a little pile of clothes. “You’re going to look great, Chisato-san!”

“I certainly hope so.”

Chisato stepped into the fitting room, pulling her own clothes off to try on the new ones. The dress that Eve had picked out for her was deep grey, just shy of black, and draped slightly in the front, hanging just over her collarbones. The royal blue jacket that went with it felt light and had a lace pattern on it, although rather than being transparent underneath, the fabric was just a lighter blue. There was also a black belt, which wrapped around the waist of the dress.

She looked in the mirror, and... she looked good. Professional, polished. She stood in her normal stance, taking a deep breath before stepping out into the world again.

The second she did, Eve gasped.

“You look wonderful!”

“That’s a whole look,” Lisa added, grinning.

Everyone else loved it. It complemented her style, her figure… and yet, Chisato couldn’t shake a slight cold running through her, like something was off.

Aya spoke, adding on to what the other two had said.

“Mhm! It’s super cute!” she said. “You know, if you ever needed an outfit for... a date, or something...”

And that was what did it.

Chisato realized then and there that she looked the same as she always did. The same Chisato who didn’t know how to express herself, who was allowed to be prim and proper and professional and nothing else... this wasn’t why she came here. She didn’t want to think about all of that. She just needed a little boost in confidence, something to help her process all of these _feelings_ she was suddenly having.

She couldn’t help but think about Kaoru. Aya was talking about the possibility of them going on a date, but... she couldn’t wear an outfit like that on a date with Kaoru. Kaoru knew she was more than that. Kaoru supported her in becoming more than that... every day, she felt that support behind her. It was part of what kept her going.

Looking like she had regressed right back to the beginning wasn’t what she wanted. Not for her friends, not for Kaoru, and certainly not for herself.

“I... maybe. I don’t know.” Chisato turned around. “I’m going to change back into my normal clothes, I think.”

She stepped back into the fitting room, closing the door a little too hard. Through the door, she heard Aya talk again.

“...did I say something wrong?”

Chisato tuned her and the others out as she took the outfit off. She felt luckier than ever that she wasn’t a crier—and the spirals of self-loathing weren’t exactly something new, either. She just didn’t know how to talk to others about it.

Kanon knew, and Kaoru did, too. Still, as much as Chisato liked that Kanon was willing to be a shoulder to cry on sometimes, she couldn’t be her only therapist, and it’s not like she could talk to Kaoru about her current problems in more than the most abstract sense possible—Aya had enough anxiety already without worrying about Chisato’s, even though she was good to talk to about Kaoru. Hiring an actual therapist was off the table, too—Chisato certainly didn’t have the time in her schedule.

Her alternative seemed to be ‘stand there in her underwear in the fitting room until all of her friends were worried about her’, which wasn’t exactly ideal. She decided to at least put her clothes back on.

After she did that, she sighed, looking in the mirror. She couldn’t keep standing here, as much as she wanted to—everyone asking questions would be more stressful, and she knew she would get more of those the longer she stayed.

She opened the door, waving casually at the three out there. “I apologize for the wait. I’ve decided not to get these after all.”

“Oh... really?” Eve looked almost disappointed that she had been wrong about her tastes, but she was trying not to show it.

“You okay, Chisato?” Lisa asked.

“We... didn’t mean to upset you, you know.” Aya cut in. It was clear that she felt bad—she honestly looked like she was about to cry, which wasn’t exactly a heightened emotional state for Aya, but Chisato couldn’t help but feel bad about it.

“You didn’t. I just decided against it,” Chisato said.

“Well... if that’s really it, then…” Aya took a deep breath, presumably trying to hype herself up so she didn’t cry. “I think I have another idea!” She looked at Chisato with as much hope as she could muster, trying to judge her response.

Honestly, she wasn’t sure how much she was up for this anymore, but... well, she wasn’t going to disappoint Lisa and her bandmates.

“Lead the way.”

Aya walked out of that store and into another one, and the rest of the group followed.

Unlike the other stores, this one didn’t have one particular vibe. It was a bit cutesy, but that was about it—just the sort of place that Aya would like.

She made a beeline directly to one rack of sweaters, pawing through them and eventually pulling out a rose pink one. Chisato followed, curious as to what she was so determined to find.

“Chisato-chan, look!” Aya held the sweater up. “I remembered that you liked wearing that one sweater for the fashion collab you did, and then when you did that street fashion shoot with Hagumi-chan, Rimi-chan, Himari-chan, and Eve-chan! Remember?”

The sweater looked comfortable, and the color was certainly gorgeous, but the most important detail was the design on the front—“JULIET”, embroidered in an artsy-looking, almost sketch-like font across the front.

“I saw this when I was in here the other day and thought of you! I know it isn’t exactly like what you usually wear besides the writing, but I thought you could make it look super cool and mature, and-“

“Slow down, Aya-chan. You’ll hurt your voice.” Chisato took it from her hands, and as she had predicted, it was soft to the touch. It was her size, too... she tugged it on carefully over her existing shirt to try it on, and although it looked a bit lumpy—clearly, it was made to be worn as its own shirt, or at least just over a collared one—it felt good on her.

Judging by Lisa, Aya, and Eve’s expression, it looked good, too.

“I...” Chisato hesitated for a moment, a smile appearing on her lips. “...I like this one.”

“Really?” Aya asked, her tone excited. Chisato nodded.

“It’s nice. It, well... that role was good.”

She pulled it off just as carefully, putting it back on its hanger and carrying it with her.

“So, you’re getting that?” Lisa asked. “Because if you are, maybe you could wear it with some dark red jeans.”

“I think white would look good, too!” Eve said.

“Ooh, yeah! Maybe white with some rips in them?” Lisa asked, beginning to focus on talking to Eve more than she did on talking to Chisato.

Chisato cleared her throat before that could get even more egregious. “Sorry, but I’m not exactly the ripped jeans type. How about I choose this time?”

“Oh, right! Yeah, of course,” Lisa said, grinning at her. “Want us here? Moral support?”

Chisato smiled back. “I think I would. Maybe we can start with… hm, maybe some darker purple jeans? I’m afraid I might need your help picking a style.”

”Of course!” Eve said, pulling Chisato into a hug. “I’ll help you find something really cute! Lisa-san can, too!”

Chisato decided that she could indulge Eve for a moment, patting her back a few times before pulling back. “I would appreciate that.”

The two of them followed Chisato’s lead past the various shelves, trying to find something that would go with the sweater—a skirt, or maybe even some pants.

“All right, so they’ve got jeans over here…” Lisa said as she led them towards that section. “They’re sorted by color, so you can kind of just look around the purple part.”

“Hm…” Eve glanced between the sweater that Chisato was holding and the dark purple jeans that she was sorting through. “Chisato-san, do you want to try something lavender?”

“That could look nice. Do you think I should still wear jeans?”

“Skinny jeans would look good with that, so you should! I think those are… here?” Eve knelt down and started looking through them.

“I’m gonna go see if I can find some cute accessories,” Lisa said, waving and walking off. Chisato wasn’t sure who she should follow, but she decided to stick with Eve—she would probably need more guidance on her size.

“All right, I’ll catch up with you in a minute.” Chisato knelt beside Eve, looking with her at the jeans. “Did you find anything?”

“Mhm! This should work!” Eve pulled out a pair, holding it up so that Chisato could see both the style and the tag. “This is your size, right? I think I heard one of our costume designers say that once…”

Chisato was honestly surprised that she remembered that, but she supposed that detail about clothes would stick out to someone in Eve’s line of work. “Yes, it is. Would you like me to try it on?”

“Yes!” Eve said, sounding rather enthusiastic. “Oh, Chisato-san! Do you remember when we were sorting clothes for the flea market, when I said you were like a cool older sister?”

That sort of came out of nowhere, but Chisato figured that questioning why Eve brought up strange things sometimes would just lead to a circular line of questioning. “I do, actually. What about it?”

“I just thought about it because I think that Lisa-san and I were acting like older sisters today, too!” Eve grinned at her, handing her the jeans. “I’m glad I get to help you, Chisato-san… you do a lot for Pastel*Palettes, so I want to do a lot for you, too!”

Chisato looked at Eve for a moment, trying to figure out exactly how much she had realized about her problems—and after a moment, she laughed. “You really are a mystery, Eve-chan.”

She hoped that Eve could tell that she really wanted to thank her for having her back, and that she appreciated having her in her corner. From the way Eve’s eyes sparkled in response, it seemed like she could.

The jeans ended up fitting, and Chisato carried them with her around the store as Eve got distracted by a rack of sweater vests. Lisa was sorting through belts and quickly giving up on each one, and looked to Chisato for guidance.

“Hey, can I see those for a sec?”

Chisato handed over the jeans, and Lisa looked at them with the various belt colors.

“I think white would look good,” Chisato said, and Lisa nodded.

“Mhm, that’s what I thought, but… none of these styles are really doing it for me, y’know? Or maybe you could just wear them without one, since you don’t really need one with that style. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Chisato asked.

“Yeah, of course,” Lisa said. “You’re the one who’s gonna be wearing it, remember?”

“I know that.” Chisato could tell that she was blushing from the surprise of Lisa asking her opinion, and she wished her face would just not do that. “I… suppose I’d rather go without a belt, then?”

“Sounds good! Hm, and maybe you could try a choker or something?”

“Like… the lace kind?”

“I was thinking more like…” Lisa glanced over at the jewelry section, which was almost entirely cheap and inauthentic in terms of gemstones, but the rest looked half-decent. “Oh, Aya’s there already.”

“Will she be able to help?” Chisato asked. Lisa just shrugged.

“Not sure, but I trust her judgement.”

Chisato couldn’t always say the same, but… hell, she’d been getting it right recently.

A few moments later, Chisato walked up to Aya, who was currently occupied by a rack of inexpensive-looking necklaces. She didn’t want to bother her, and helping her out with clothes was such a small gesture, but... right now, it meant a lot.

“Aya-chan?” she asked. Aya stopped looking for a moment, turning around with a two-piece heart necklace still in her hands.

“Chisato-chan?” she asked, still looking a bit worried. “I’m really sorry if you’re still mad, I-“

“Thanks.” Chisato hesitated to add on to that, but decided to after a moment. “You know... for all of it.”

“Oh! Um… you’re welcome!”

Chisato wasn’t sure how to continue that. She was... not used to that sort of conversation, huh?

“Er... I think Sayo-chan would like that necklace, too. If that’s what you were thinking.”

Aya looked a bit relieved that Chisato was talking to her normally again. “Maybe you’re right! Hm...”

“But if you could pause for a moment, Lisa-chan thought that you might be a good help in finding me a choker?”

“Oh, she did? I don’t wear that sort of thing, but… sure! I’ll find something that’ll match really well.” Her determination seemed to come flooding right back as soon as she fully processed that as an expectation, and Chisato felt relieved as well—she hadn’t exacerbated Aya’s anxiety as badly as she thought she had.

Chisato decided one thing as she walked alongside Aya, picking up various designs and trying to decide how attached she was to having beads on her neck—when Aya had talked to her about Kaoru, Chisato had been right to trust her to confide in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as some of you have probably seen on my twitter, this is not a good announcement—this fic is going on hiatus! i didn’t expect it at first, but extenuating circumstances mean i’ve found myself unable to properly revise the next few chapters.  
> i’m not exactly sure how long this will take, but i’m expecting at least a month, maybe longer. there might also be a few smaller pieces in the mean time, but probably nothing longer than a drabble. i’ll post on twitter periodically with updates, so if you’re ever curious, you can look there!  
> thank you for all of the support on this fic so far, and i’m excited to be back soon 💗💕💘💞💖💓


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru seeks out advice for her audition.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha hey it’s been a while  
> i apologize once more for this long hiatus, but a Lot of things happened, and i really couldn’t just continue to write during that time  
> the remaining almost all have completed first drafts, so updates should continue to go smoothly!

The day after Chisato had used her day off to go shopping and the day before Kaoru’s audition, Kaoru had met up with Misaki and Maya at Hazawa Coffee, intending to practice her monologue. She often claimed that black coffee made her feel more studious, which absolutely wasn’t backed up by anything, but whatever helped her work. Maya had effectively gotten a candy bar in a cup, and Misaki had also bought black coffee—although rather than making her a better study, it just made her less exhausted. Then again, being in both theatre and a band made Kaoru’s schedule tiring on its own, so maybe Misaki shouldn’t be complaining.

“Okay, try it again!” Maya encouraged her. Kaoru nodded, getting down on her knees.

“You’re going to make the cup of coffee your Juliet again, aren’t you?” Misaki asked, sighing.

“Of course,” Kaoru said. “My scene partner will likely just be the wall, so quite frankly, this is an upgrade.”

Misaki thought for a moment. “Fair enough. Go ahead.”

Kaoru took a deep breath and faced where Maya and Misaki were sitting.

“But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?” she asked, glancing up at her coffee cup. “It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon—who is already sick and pale with grief that thou, her maid, art far more fair than she.” Kaoru’s hand flew to her heart as she spoke again. “It is my lady... o, it is my love!” She allowed disappointment to show in her voice. “O, that she knew she were.”

Misaki and Maya were both watching as she continued, and Maya took a few notes on her phone.

“Her eye discourses, I will answer it!” Kaoru turned towards the cup and began to walk towards it—which looked absurdly uncomfortable on her knees, but she had assured Misaki and Maya many times that she would be on her feet for the audition itself. Before she could get far on her knees, though, she turned back. “I am too bold... ‘tis not to me she speaks.” The romance and pining returned to her voice for the last few lines. “See how she leans her cheek upon her hand... o, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”

She took a moment to let that rest before standing up again, her legs wobbling beneath her before she sat back safely in her chair. “Tell me, did that please your ears?”

Maya nodded. “Yeah, just a couple of things! First off, you need to go a little stronger on the ends of your lines. You’ve been making them kind of top-heavy.”

Kaoru wrote that down on her phone. “All right, thank you. Anything else?”

“Uh, for your... ‘her eye discourses’ line, you’re kind of too dignified. You do that a lot, but just... be the awkward teenage boy. You’re kind of reverting back to that sort of princely demeanor that you did when you first performed this, but that’s... not really Romeo, you know? At least not in this scene. Pretend you’re in your first year of middle school and you still write poetry about the girl who sits in front of you every day.”

“But like, not good poetry,” Misaki interjected.

Kaoru wrote that down as well. She could totally do that. She had occasionally considered writing poetry about Chisato anyway, although she liked to think that it would at least be decent.

“Thank you.”

“No problem,” Maya said. “Honestly, though, that’s it! I mean, you’ve been working this monologue for a year, so I’m not surprised it’s really good! You’re gonna kill that audition tomorrow.”

“And I must thank you again for the vote of confidence.” Kaoru gave her a charming smile before turning her attention to Misaki. “Do you have anything?”

“Yeah,” Misaki said. “Definitely the thing Maya said about being an awkward teenage boy, but also, uh... you’ve really gotta start working without a scene partner. It looks really awkward right now. Maybe when we next run it?”

“Of course,” Kaoru said. “Shall we go again?”

Maya shook her head. “Nope. Your knees look like they’re killing you.”

“They are. Just a bit.” Kaoru took a sip of her coffee, letting herself relax for a moment. “That monologue brings back good memories, I must admit. I’ve been thinking about that performance quite a bit lately,” she said.

“Oh, you mean the one with Chisato-san?” Misaki asked.

Kaoru nodded. “Indeed.” Maya and Misaki both expected her to go off about why exactly she’d been thinking about it—reasons which were definitely gay—but she didn’t.

Maya briefly considered asking her about the play itself as a distraction. Admittedly, though, she was curious about the extent of her feelings towards Chisato. She had wanted to ask Chisato, too—but that wasn’t really her place, she figured. That was the kind of thing you went for someone else for. Aya, Kanon, Lisa... Eve, maybe... not her.

Misaki asked before she got the chance to worry about it. “What, uh... you know, what do you like about that play?”

Kaoru looked almost surprised at that, though it faded quickly. “Why, Misaki, I hadn’t a clue that you had such a hidden passion for the theatre.”

“Oh, I don’t.” She paused for a moment, likely thinking about how much of a disaster she had been on stage with the Phantom Thief. “I, uh... _really_ don’t. I guess I never really got the whole Shakespeare thing when we talked about it in school, so I wonder. Sometimes. Kinda.”

“Well, with such a keen eye for the arts, I could never refuse such a question.” Kaoru brought her hand up to her chin dramatically, and Misaki resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “I suppose... I appreciate the deep bond that Romeo and Juliet form with each other. Despite only knowing each other for a few days, they have such a strong connection, from the romantic to the physical to the intellectual. Although, of course, they knew each other for several months in the source material... and even then, it was nearly like they were childhood friends. It’s quite the amazing dynamic, really,” she said. “Many people overlook that sort of love, viewing Romeo as someone loose, but I truly believe his connection with Juliet is genuine. Perhaps he reminds me of myself, truly—a poet, strongly in touch with himself and his feelings, but who often fails to be bold enough to express them. Still, he has a truly passionate soul. And Juliet... a truly intelligent woman, of fiery nature and strong conviction. The true tragedy in her nature is that she is too put upon by society to put her intellectualism to good use. Romeo makes it his duty to believe in her. Finally, Juliet has someone willing to tell her that she can dream, or who can support her when her other networks fail... even someone who understands the cruelty of the world that she has been handed. Ah, what a fleeting fate it is… a genuine tragedy. And yet, the true cruelty is how its intricacies are so often misunderstood.”

“Misunderstood?” Maya asked. It seemed like she had been paying close attention, taking in every word—it was almost surprising that she hadn’t been taking notes.

“Indeed, misunderstood. Violence, fear, the forcing of the Montagues and Capulets into distinct roles rather than allowing them to fulfill whichever role best fits… this is what killed Mercutio and Tybalt, what brought Benvolio into depression, what truly brought Romeo and Juliet to their tragic ends. Still, too many readers try to force the production into its own role rather than acknowledging it as a story in its own right. It has never been about the stupidity of teenagers, a concept that is frankly quite foolish in itself, nor is it about true love. It isn’t merely about a feud among families, either… it simply is. Reading the play, feeling its complexity as an artistic work and as a message… knowing that when it is performed, it will always be lovely and always be valued, whether it is performed by grade school students or esteemed actors.” Kaoru chuckled lightly. “Is it not comforting, in a sense, to hold passion for this play? The grand knowledge that one is alive, that the actors can find themselves in Shakespeare’s words and be reassured that they hold value simply by performing the text… it’s reassuring, truly.”

She looked back at Misaki, who quickly realized Kaoru was expecting a response. Honestly, she hadn’t fully understood what she meant, but… it sort of made sense.

“Yeah, I, uh… I guess it is. And I can tell you really liked performing with Chisato-san, huh?”

“Of course. We have both grown so much, and reconnecting with each other… ah, and so passionately, too.” Kaoru smiled at the thought. “I do wish we could perform together more often. She is truly admirable, as a fellow thespian and as a friend.”

“You two are really close friends, right? I guess you’ve probably been thinking about her a lot. When it comes to the audition, I mean.” Misaki most certainly did not mean that, but at the same time, she had no idea what Maya knew. Still, it wasn’t like she really believed she was being subtle.

“I suppose that must be clear, hm? Indeed. I admit, such thoughts have overcome me. I simply adored her work as Juliet, and… well, we have been speaking quite a bit more recently. It’s only natural that such a thing would happen.” A warm pink color rose to her cheeks. “Er, but I must ask… is it truly so obvious?”

Misaki was extremely sure that Kaoru’s question wasn’t directed at her, so she picked up her coffee and took the longest sip she could manage. Hopefully, Maya would pick up the awkwardness of the quiet air.

“W-Well…” Maya tried to find a way to word it delicately. “I mean, we’ve been working this scene for a few weeks, but recently you’ve seemed sort of… distracted. And it’s correlated a little bit with when you and Chisato met up while we were sightseeing, and that sort of, um, might be the cause?”

...maybe that was a bit forward.

“I do admit I have certainly had a few things on my mind, but… pray tell, what might I do? Ah, to remedy the most confusing and painful ailment… how fl-“

“I think you should ask her out,” Misaki said.

Kaoru nearly spit out her coffee.

“A-Ah, I apologize. Did I hear you improperly, perhaps?”

Misaki sighed. “You’ve gotta figure out something before you audition. I mean… you know… if you’re distracted, that’d suck, and there’s really no other way to know what’s going to happen until stuff happens. And you can initiate that if you want.”

Maya nodded. “Right, right! You’ve got to be at your best. The department already loves you, so with this much practice… if you can just get your answer, you’ll have a clear head when you audition!”

“Well, as much as I appreciate the sentiment, my audition is tomorrow. Chisato told me that she has a meeting with a director until quite late tonight, and I need to sleep well in order to give my best performance.”

That... was quite a block, wasn’t it? One of the first things to go when Kaoru was nervous about something was her sleep, and falling asleep not knowing what Chisato’s response wouldn’t exactly help with that.

“What time do you guys have lunch?” Misaki asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“11:41,” Kaoru answered. “Might I ask why?”

“We start at :38. I usually eat with Kanon, Chisato, and a few others, and I’m gonna guess you guys usually eat together, so we’ll be... your moderators, I guess?” Misaki said.

Maya’s face lit up at that plan. “That’s true! You could get your answer, once and for all, and then you’d be all there for your audition tomorrow.”

They were both looking at Kaoru now, Misaki not breaking her gaze even when she paused to sip her drink. Kaoru still looked unsure.

“Well, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience her, or make her uncomfortable, or any other number of things. I fully believe that I could play any role I wanted regardless of that flaw in my audition, and my director knows that as well.”

Misaki glanced over at Maya, figuring that she knew how Chisato would actually respond. At the same time, Maya looked back at Misaki.

One of them had to say something to make the silence less painful.

“Kaoru-san, you’re… really not going to bother her or anything,” Maya said. “You’re not less important than her other friends. I mean, if one of us had to tell her something important, you’d tell us to, right?”

“But of course.” Kaoru said that like it was obvious. “Is that not simply what a good friend does?”

Maya nodded. “Right, it is. So… you also have to tell her something important.”

“And we’re your friends,” Misaki added.

“And that means we should tell you to tell her, and that’s not bad advice, right? Since you’d give it to your friends, too.”

“Ah, but you see, the difference… it isn’t truly important to tell her of such feelings.”

Misaki hesitated before responding. “If it’s affecting your performance, and you’ve been distracted by it otherwise, then… yeah it is, actually?”

“She wants to hear about your feelings too,” Maya added. “No matter how she responds, she does care. You guys have known each other a really long time, so she probably wants to know more about that sort of stuff.”

Kaoru shook her head. “There isn’t a way to be perfectly sure of that, and… in any case, it is enough for her to simply know that I value her. To say more would simply be putting too much stake in my own feelings, especially when hers are what truly matters.”

“Kaoru-san, you’re not... less important than Chisato-san,” Misaki said. “You do a lot for your school, and, um…” Her face flushed red. “...a-and for the band, and, um…”

“And for our theatre department! And you’re always helping out the underclassmen, and you’re always supporting us at our concerts!” Maya added.

“But of course. After all, ‘tis my duty to come to the aid of Haneoka’s lovely little kittens, is it not?”

It was only natural. If Kaoru was loved for the support she gave to others, then she couldn’t simply give up on that because it was easier for her. The best way was to simply push through for her audition, to clear her mind even if she couldn’t clear her heart, and to get through the days. If her passion was truly known, even if she was merely a friend… it was less than ideal, but it was enough.

It should be enough.

_Please, let it be enough._

“Kaoru-san, how about… one date. Ask for one date,” Misaki said. “You don’t need to tell her everything, just… put your mind at ease a little, okay? You don’t have to stress yourself out like this.”

Kaoru hesitated.

Maybe... if she treated it like a friendly hangout, some sign that nothing had changed from when they had been hanging out with Misaki and Kanon the other day... if she was kind and respectful... if Maya and Hina and Lisa were there with her... if it would really improve her audition...

She could do that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for reading this and continuing to support me, seeing all of those kudos and comments makes my day 💝💕💓💗💞💖


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of Kaoru’s audition, Kaoru and Chisato attend lunch separately with their friends by their sides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i... totally didn’t post this several hours after i woke up haha  
> anyway this is what that biweekly upload schedule is gonna look like from now on! hope it works out

Chisato walked down the Hanasakigawa halls, accompanied by Kanon as they headed to their usual lunch spot.

“How have you been doing, Chisato-chan?” Kanon asked, glancing at her. She only knew minimal details about whatever was going on with her and Kaoru, but she had definitely noticed Chisato’s anxiety hitting her a bit harder lately.

“Oh, I’ve been doing fine,” Chisato said. Her tone was dismissive, but the smile on her face spoke volumes about how grateful she was that Kanon didn’t go a day without asking.

Kanon looked relieved at that. “Ah, that’s good... is anything in particular going on?”

“Besides the shopping trip I told you about yesterday, no.” That was a bold-faced lie and Chisato knew it, but the last person she wanted to get involved in her relationship drama was Kanon. She knew that despite her best efforts, Kanon would just end up being a middleman. “But that went well. I’m excited to wear the outfit I got, if I’m truly being honest.”

Kanon giggled. “I can’t wait to see it. Those three have really good taste.”

“Well, hopefully you will soon.”

As they stopped by their lockers to change shoes, Chisato was interrupted halfway through putting her outdoor ones on.

“Oh, Chisato-senpai.”

She turned around, half expecting it to be a fan, but wasn’t quite surprised that it was Tae.

“Good morning, Tae-chan.”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you, actually. Poppin’ Party is going to go to a laser tag place for Valentine’s Day this year, but we don’t have enough people. Hanging out for White Day last year was fun, and Valentine’s Day isn’t too different, so I decided we should invite you. And Himari, and Kanon-senpai, and Hagumi, and Misaki, and Eve, and Kokoro, and-“

“You don’t have to list everyone, it’s all right.” Chisato sort of just wanted to get to lunch, but she also didn’t talk to Tae nearly as often as she should since she usually ate with her band, so she decided to stay for a moment. “Hm, laser tag... it’s been quite a while since I’ve done something like that.” Memories of little Kao-chan crying when her vest got hit with a laser and then proceeding to get both of them hit because she was being too loud came to mind, but she couldn’t do much more than smile at the memory—and hope that she could make more memories with her soon.

“It’s okay. We’ll teach you,” Tae said, seemingly not realizing that Chisato was daydreaming about the past. That was probably good, actually—too many questions wouldn’t be great, and as much as she liked Tae, she didn’t trust her with dating advice. Kanon had learned that when Tae’s best suggestion for romancing Misaki was a rabbit-shaped flower arrangement.

“Ah, it’s not that. I should be fine, it’s just… I’m not sure if I’ll have plans or not that day,” Chisato said. “I’ll let you know if I do, but for now, I’ll give you a tentative yes.”

Tae didn’t seem to mind that she was unsure. “Hm, okay. Email me if you change your mind, business inquiries only.”

She turned to give the same pitch to Kanon, who shook her head.

“No, it’s okay, Tae-chan! Um, Misaki-chan and I are going to that cheese place Kaoru-san likes for dinner that night, so I might be busy... but if it’s earlier in the day, that sounds really fun!” She thought for a moment, glancing over at Chisato before speaking again. “Actually, maybe you could invite Kaoru-san, too? You said the rest of the band would be there, so... and she’s friends with Saaya-chan, isn’t she?”

Tae looked simultaneously surprised at and impressed by the suggestion. “Oh, that’s smart... Rimi’s going to like that, too.” She smiled, new thoughts of the single addition to laser tag going through her head. “I’ll see you soon, Chisato-senpai, Kanon-senpai.”

Tae left, presumably to go eat with her bandmates. Chisato was pretty sure that she was a cryptid of some sort—but that cryptid was her friend, so even when she had to deal with that inevitable rejection, the day wouldn’t be completely lost.

She quickly remembered that she only had on one outdoor shoe, and put on the other one.

“Um, Chisato-chan? The others are probably waiting for us...” Kanon said, glancing out the door.

“Ah, right, of course.” Chisato smiled at her, standing. “Well, I’m sure we haven’t missed much. Nothing too important ever happens around this time.”

At some point, something probably would—but Chisato didn’t want to jinx what was often her only opportunity for normalcy.

Kaoru walked down the hall, surrounded by fans and flanked by Hina, Lisa, and Maya. They had almost gotten used to being her bodyguards, even as Kaoru spoke to girls through the barrier.

“Ah, Emi-chan, how has the literature club been lately? I’ve been so busy preparing for my audition that I haven’t had the chance to stop by your club room like you asked, but I assure you, I’ll be there the moment my schedule clears up.”

“Th-Thank you, Kaoru-senpai! Hana-chan’s going to be really happy about that, too..”

“Kaede-chan, I truly apologize for our director’s harshness with you yesterday. I know lines oft do get shaky when one is not used to being on stage, but for what it is worth, you did a lovely job.”

“You... really think so? Wow...!”

“Himari-chan, what a fleeting surprise. Your last performance was wonderful, I must say... why, I’m certain you already know I will be the first in line at your next.”

Himari squeaked out a ‘thank you’, looking like she was about to faint. Ran rolled her eyes, pulling Himari’s arm over her shoulder.

“Come on, Himari. Up we go. You can do it.”

“Kaoru-senpai, please go out with me!”

A box of chocolate hit Hina on the side of the head, which she proceeded to catch and chuck at Kaoru as hard as she could. Kaoru barely managed to catch it against her chest after it had already hit her in the cheek, not even perceiving what it was until she lifted it into her field of vision.

...ah.

This was the part Kaoru hated the most. Not necessarily just the feeling of chocolate slamming into her face, of course—it was the gentle rejections she so often had to give. This was especially true at a time like this, where it felt like Maya’s gaze was boring a hole in her skull. Of course, even her glares were only about as fierce as the average squirrel, but hell hath no fury like a stage manager who’s tired of this.

That wasn’t really it, of course. Kaoru knew on some level that she often felt like she was even more in the spotlight than usual, even when Maya hadn’t been anything but worried for her—and what she was perceiving as an ongoing stare was almost certainly just a concerned glance every once in a while. Still, that perception made Kaoru feel awful, especially remembering her conversation with Maya the other day. She knew how much it would hurt to be rejected herself.

“Ah, my dear, I truly apologize... I love and admire you, as I do everyone who has continued to support me all of this while, but I fear that I cannot accept such a request. Of course, I would be thrilled to spend more time with you as friends, perhaps invite you to a dress rehearsal of _Taming of the Shrew_...” Kaoru turned back to the admirer, a small first year with peach-colored hair tied awkwardly back in a ponytail, and handed her the chocolate back. “And as happy as I would be to accept any gift from my dear kittens, I fear I cannot under the pretense of romance.”

“Aw...” She sighed, looking back up at her between Hina and Lisa’s shoulders. “You can keep the chocolates, though...! I made them for you, so I think you’ll really like them!”

Kaoru couldn’t help but smile at that as she tucked the neatly wrapped box under her arm. It was gestures like this that made all of the trouble of popularity worth it. “I would be happy to, little kitten. Do feel free to visit me at the theatre club room at any time, all right?”

“Okay!”

She couldn’t help but notice the disappointment in that fan’s voice, but, well... there wasn’t an easier way to let people down. She liked to think she was pretty good at it—keeping up the spirits of those she valued most of all without giving them false hopes.

She made it outside after a few more minutes, sitting down on a bench with Hina, Maya, and Lisa as the group she had been talking to all separated into their own smaller groups.

“Good work, superstar,” Lisa teased as she opened her bento. “Oh, yeah, Yukina got a practice room today, so it’s just the three of us.”

Kaoru was almost surprised at how convenient that timing had been. Not that she didn’t like Yukina, but she wanted the idea of her asking Chisato out to stay as private as possible, even among their little lunch group. “Well, I hope to have her back with us soon.”

“Oh, you know. She’s just worried about our set for the next concert... we’ll finalize it at rehearsal, but you know she likes to work on it alone sometimes so we don’t spend the whole time planning.” Lisa grinned. “Anyway, how are you guys doing?”

“Good! But, hmm... um...” A thought shot into Hina’s head. “Oh, hey, hey, Kaoru! You ready for that audition today?” Hina asked.

Kaoru and Maya shared a look for a moment before Kaoru spoke. “Almost.”

The atmosphere in Hanasakigawa was a bit easier. Chisato and Kanon walked out towards their usual lunch spot, only to realize that the others weren’t there.

“Chisato-chan! Kanon-chan! Over here!” Aya called, waving from a spot across the field. She was accompanied by Sayo, Misaki, and Eve.

“This is... different,” Chisato commented as she and Kanon sat down. “What made you all move here?”

“I just thought the daffodils were pretty!” Eve said.

“I agree. This is a nice place to eat,” Sayo said. “Perhaps we should stay here next time?”

“I’d really like that!” Aya agreed, pretending that she wasn’t solely influenced by the fact that her girlfriend looked pretty surrounded by daffodils.

“Sayo-chan, is anything stopping us from bringing a picnic blanket for next time?” Chisato asked.

“As long as it fits in your bag, you’ll be all right. I would actually appreciate it.”

“Oh, I have one I can bring!” Kanon volunteered. “I’ll do that on Monday.”

Misaki scooted a bit closer to her as she talked. “Sounds great. Thanks for always having our backs on that stuff.”

“Oh, gay people!” Eve commented in their direction, as excitedly as ever. Chisato laughed, but it seemed that they both declined to comment.

At that moment, Sayo yawned, which caught Chisato’s attention.

“Sayo-chan, you usually sound more well-rested than this,” she noted.

“Ah, er, you noticed...” Sayo said, a few nerves coming through in her voice. “I assure you, it was—well—“

Noticing that she was struggling, Aya stepped in. “Oh, um, Sayo-chan actually stayed over at my house last night!”

Chisato paused for a moment to take that in before opening her mouth to ask the inevitable question. “Did-“

“Of course not!” Sayo answered before she asked the question. “We’re young, and... of course, it’s my responsibility to uphold decent contact... we just stayed up a bit late, that’s all.”

Aya nodded to corroborate her story, and Chisato realized her opportunity.

“Ah, that’s not what I was going to ask, actually. Aya-chan, you made her fries, didn’t you?”

“...fries?” Misaki asked, seemingly wondering if there was a secret Aya Date Guidebook™ that revealed what Aya cooked on the first date.

Aya’s eyes widened in horror. “Chisato-chan, please-“

“What was it you said you wanted to be?”

“Chisato-chan! You’re so mean to me!”

“Her... ‘fry housewife’?” Chisato asked, giggling softly as she spoke. Sayo looked between the two of them, clearly baffled.

“What on earth is a...?” Sayo asked.

Aya quickly attempted to explain. “It’s, well... it’s like a housewife! But the work is delegated evenly and I just make you fries sometimes!”

Eve smiled widely. “Wow, what an adorable fantasy! It’s great that you’re so romantic, Aya-chan!” She seemed to go into deep thought. “Hm... I would love to be someone’s Bushido housewife someday!”

Kanon began to ask what a Bushido housewife was, but Misaki shook her head.

“Nope. We are not having this conversation.”

And as expected, that only made the conversation livelier.

On the other side of the world, Maya was still looking at Kaoru every once in a while, trying to gently pressure her into pulling out her phone and sending Chisato that message. However, before that actually succeeded, Hina’s eagle eyes and single brain cell caught on.

“Maya-chan, what’cha doing?” Hina asked.

“Ah, worry not. Maya simply asked me to do a small task for her during this period, and I am, er... figuring out how to accomplish it,” Kaoru explained.

Maya grinned sheepishly. “It’s kind of for her audition.”

“In a sense,” Kaoru clarified.

They had thought that would be enough of an answer to satisfy Hina, but one crucial detail had been missing—no answer was good enough for Hina, and when Hina was curious, Lisa quickly followed.

“Oh, is something going on with that?” Lisa asked. “Anything I can help with?”

“Well, I don’t... I don’t believe so...” Kaoru’s face turned red as she thought about Lisa wingmanning for her in asking Chisato out, and Hina quickly picked up on that, too.

“Ooh, Kaoru-kun’s being gay!”

“Hina-san, you’re gay, too... you have a girlfriend.” Maya pointed out.

“Yeah, but something’s up! Are you gonna confess at your audition?”

“Confess? Oh, goodness, I’ll not hear of that. I would hate to interrupt her busy schedule with such trifles. Besides, she certainly won’t be at this audition, considering that she doesn’t even go to this school,” Kaoru said. “I’m simply going to ask her to spend some time alone together, merely for the sake of it.”

Gears were twisting in their heads. Busy schedule... doesn’t go to Haneoka... Kaoru is there...

“Aw, you’ve got a thing for Chisato?” Lisa asked, seemingly figuring it out pretty easily.

“Well, er, I…! I don’t… er, perhaps… that isn’t the proper way to word it, for I... admire her greatly, possibly in a romantic sense—and I often stand thrilled by her wit and beauty, and of course, I-“

As Kaoru continued talking about how she was in-love-but-definitely-not, Maya mouthed a slow ‘yes’ to the other two.

“Well, Hina and I happen to be Haneoka’s hype squad!” Lisa grinned, patting Kaoru’s shoulder. “Childhood friends are the cutest people in the world. I get it. C’mon, open up your texts.”

“Oh, yeah! I wanna see!” Hina shoved a piece of bread in her mouth and moved to look over Kaoru’s shoulder.

“Hey, guys, come on... give her some space,” Maya suggested, but it fell on deaf ears.

Kaoru took a deep breath and started typing. Hopefully nothing too important was happening on Chisato’s side.

“No, I think Chisato-san would be a good tea housewife!” Eve said.

“No, she seems to be more of a... health food housewife, perhaps?” Sayo suggested.

Wow, this... sure was a conversation, huh? Why was Sayo a part of this? Chisato briefly considered robbing a billionaire and moving so she could attend Tsukinomori instead of dealing with this. If the look she and Misaki were sharing meant anything, it was that they both had the same idea.

_Bzzt!_

That was Chisato’s phone. Producers did occasionally text her during this time, so she supposed it wasn’t too odd.

She pulled her phone from her pocket and looked at her notifications, and felt a slight heat rise to her face as she saw the message.

[Kaoru] Would you like to join me for tea sometime this weekend?

Kanon glanced over at her. “Hm? What is it, Chisato-chan?”

“Ah, nothing much. Kaoru just texted me,” she said.

“Kaoru-san did?” Aya asked. “What did she say?”

“She, er...” Chisato tried not to let her body language reveal how excited she was. “Asked if I’d like to join her for tea.”

“And you said yes, I suppose?” Sayo asked.

“I’m about to.”

[Chisato] What time were you thinking? I’m busy for the second half of Saturday, but that’s it.

_Ding!_

“She replied!” Lisa said.

“What’d she say?” Hina asked, laying her head on Kaoru’s shoulder to stare at her screen.

Kaoru smiled. “That sounds like a yes, does it not? Hm... perhaps we can do that on Sunday, then.”

“Ooh, that’s just a couple days. You gonna be ready?” Lisa asked, grinning. “Okay, so Chisato’s pretty much gonna melt in your hands if you touch her cheek when you k-“

“A-Ah, there’s no guarantee that we’ll be doing that sort of thing!” Kaoru’s tone came out a bit forceful at first from her embarrassment.

“And knowing you, Kaoru-kun, Chisato-chan’s gonna be the one in charge!” Hina added.

“Such jests... ah, what a cruel mistress is fate,” Kaoru mused. “But fear not, my friends. I shall go on.”

[Kaoru] Would Sunday evening be all right? Perhaps we could take a walk in the cool air once we’ve gotten our drinks as well.

_Bzzt!_

“Oh, she said something!” Aya said.

Sayo glanced over Chisato’s shoulder as she checked, trying not to be too intrusive. “The two of you are going out then, I suppose?”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘going out’,” Chisato said. “We’re just, well... spending time together in a tea house.”

“Which would be... going out,” Misaki offered.

“I suppose that word does carry connotations, though,” Sayo said. “For what it’s worth, I meant more like how you go out with Kanon.”

“Oh, of course,” Chisato said, smiling at her. “I could never ask Kaoru out, anyway. Even if I wanted to, she would reject me, and then I would get upset when she rejects me, and then she would say we can still be friends, and then I would have made our friendship awkward for no reason. It wouldn’t be worth it.”

Aya and Eve were both 100% sure that if they attempted to speak in unison with Chisato when she talked about Kaoru, they would be successful.

“Chisato-chan, are you... feeling okay?” Kanon asked. That little qualifier at the beginning wasn’t enough to convince her that Chisato hadn’t been thinking about this for a while, or that she wasn’t at least a bit stressed about it.

“Of course I am. I apologize, I’ve had quite a few things piled onto just a few days lately.” That was true, but it wasn’t all there was to it, either. Still, Kanon didn’t get a chance to pursue the question further before Chisato’s bandmates spoke.

“You should at least have fun this weekend, though!” Eve encouraged, trying not to kill the mood like that did the first time.

“Mhm, mhm! I know you said you were with her on Monday, and you had a lot of fun then! So don’t worry about that too much!” Aya said.

Misaki nodded. “Yeah, you guys should have a good time.”

Chisato found herself smiling just a bit more at that—and as much as Kanon felt that she was still having trouble with whatever feelings she may have for Kaoru, she just wanted her best friend to be happy right now.

“I think so, too!”

Sayo nodded along with the others, although she declined to add on—mostly because the other four made their points well enough.

Chisato laughed. “I was planning to accept anyway, you know. Although I suppose I appreciate the vote of confidence.”

_I would love that. Sunday night works fine for me as well. Find somewhere and send me the address, all right?_

After a moment spent with her thumb hovering over the send button, she revised her message. Even that small bit of excitement might shine through as too much, even if the rational part of her brain knew that would never be the case.

[Chisato] That works. Find somewhere and send me the address, all right?

_Ding!_

“Ooh!” Hina looked back at Kaoru’s phone, staring at what she sent. “So, where do you wanna go?”

“Oh, how about that place you went with her and Kanon-san?” Maya suggested. “With the latte art?”

Kaoru shook her head. “Alas, it cannot be. We were there merely two days ago... something new and different is in order.”

“Kanon-chan knows good places!” Hina said. “I don’t know much about that stuff, but she’s told me about a ton of cool spots before! Like, um… there’s that coffee shop kind of close to the train station! The one with the good macarons?”

Kaoru hadn’t a clue which one she was talking about. After all, was it not true that all macarons were good macarons? Still, she marked down its presence in her head, wondering if she would be able to figure out what it was called before her audition.

“You could try asking Misaki, too. She started following that stuff a while back. Something about wanting to be a part of Kanon’s interests? It’s worth asking, anyway,” Lisa said. “I mostly just hang out at Hazawa Coffee, so I can’t really be much help… but those two are pretty smart, y’know?”

“Think about the kind of place you want to go, maybe? Ask before you pick somewhere expensive, too,” Maya added. “Unless you’re paying for her.”

“Yeah, you could totally pay for her!” Lisa thought for a moment. “Hm, but would she be okay with that?”

Kaoru nodded. “I believe so. She wasn’t opposed when Kokoro paid for our last outing.”

“Kokoro’s got enough money to buy the whole country, though!” Hina poked Kaoru’s cheek. “You’ve maybe got enough for a park, plus she likes you.”

“Well, she likes Kokoro as well,” Kaoru said. “I... think, at least. She seemed to be having fun.”

“She really, really likes you, though!” Hina grinned. “She calls you her BFF and stuff.”

Kaoru blushed. “She… she said that?”

Maya nodded. “Yeah, we were all there for that! She helped me out with what to get for your birthday, too. You guys know each other really well.”

“And she told me she’s really comfortable talking to you,” Lisa added. “She’s not gonna make you pay for everything.”

“That’s true... she might think it’s too extravagant,” Maya said. “Hm... maybe a cheap place would be better, then? Then she won’t worry either way.”

“Then I shall begin my search for a place like that... hm.” Kaoru opened her maps app, trying to find tea places nearby. “Ah, but how would I know if they were of any quality? I admit I rarely drink more than coffee or standard hot tea myself...”

“You could… check the reviews, Kaoru-san?” Maya suggested.

“Ah! Right. Of course. The reviews. Thank you, Maya, for gracing me with your wisdom...”

Lisa laughed at that. “You’d better tell us how it goes, okay?”

“Yeah! I’ll tell you all what Chisato-chan said, too!” Hina added enthusiastically.

The silence at Hanasakigawa had lasted for a while. Chisato looked down at her phone and realized that lunch was nearly over. Kaoru still hadn’t responded, huh... maybe she didn’t have a place in mind?

Still, it was a bit odd. Her responses had been quick before. Chisato really hoped that she wasn’t being ignored—the idea that a microphone was secretly recording her and remotely transferring her gay thoughts to Kaoru and friends had crossed the more anxious side of her mind, but that also happened to be both stupid and impossible.

“We should start heading back to class,” Sayo suggested. “We only have around five minutes.”

“Oh, thanks, Sayo-san. Good call.” Misaki stood up, offering her hand to Kanon, who smiled as she stood beside her. “See you after school.” She made a little kissing motion at her, and Kanon giggled.

“See you.” She looked back down at the ground. “Chisato-chan, are you coming?”

“I am. You all can go ahead, though. I have to stop by the bathroom anyway.”

“All right.” Kanon smiled back at her. “I’ll see you in class, then!”

Eve, Misaki, and Kanon headed back in a little group, and Aya and Sayo followed them—although they didn’t make too much of an effort to catch up.

Chisato looked back at her phone. She was alone now, so really, she could text Kaoru anything she wanted.

Things had fallen apart a bit last time, but... it would go better this time. Maybe if it was just them, face to face—no pressure, no anything—it would go better, just like it always had before.

If Kaoru wanted to hang out anyway, there was little harm in trying.

The hours were ticking by at Haneoka as well, shown as Lisa’s eyes widened when she glanced down at her phone. “Oh damn, it’s later than I thought. We’ve only got a few minutes to get back to class.”

“That went really fast.” Maya glanced over at Kaoru as the two of them both stood up. “Did you find a place, Kaoru-san?”

“Alas, I’m still looking. I’m certain I will before the day’s end,” Kaoru said.

“Well, that’s good, anyway,” Lisa said.

“And she said yes to hanging out!” Hina hopped up. “That’s really boppin’!”

Kaoru nodded. “It is indeed. I must admit, after last time, I’m excited.”

The group started walking, and as Hina and Lisa loudly chatted among themselves, their voices drowned out the sound of Kaoru’s phone vibrating in her pocket.

_Ding!_

[Chisato] Actually, we got tea quite recently, but it’s been a while since we’ve had proper one-on-one time. Why don’t you come over to my house for dinner instead?

Perhaps this wasn’t truly a date, perhaps it meant nothing at all, but… now that it was fully realized, Kaoru realized how much the idea of spending time alone with Chisato meant to her. It gave her the sort of energy that made her feel light, that made things feel _different_ in a way that she found hard to describe.

In other words, Kaoru was certain she was about to combust. All she had to do was find the proper words to say yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter comes in two weeks so stay tuned! thank you all for reading this fic so far 💗💕💓💖💞💝💘


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru comes over for the evening.

Kaoru showed up at Chisato’s house that Sunday, trying not to feel a bit nervous as she knocked. She supposed this was just them spending time together as friends, so she probably shouldn’t be, but... well, her intentions when she had first asked were somewhat like a first date. Maybe it was right to feel like that.

It only took a moment for Chisato to open the door once she realized who it was.

“It’s good to see you,” Kaoru said.

Seeing her best friend standing at her door wasn’t as uncommon as it used to be, but it was still enough to bring a smile to Chisato’s face.

“It’s good to see you, too. Come on in.”

A low bark could be in the background, and Chisato whipped around, only to see Leon charging at the door. He quickly realized that the person at the door was Kaoru, and he started barking excitedly, bounding up to her as fast as his old body could handle. Kaoru laughed quietly and leaned down to pet him.

“Are you going to let her in, old boy?” Chisato gave Leon‘s head a little pat and he calmed down, wagging his tail at Kaoru and letting her step in. Kaoru closed the door behind her before going to pet Leon again, and Chisato found herself smiling even more widely.

“Hello, my sweet little puppy... ah, what a pleasure to see you, little handsome fluffy prince.”

“Are you here for me or my dog, Kaoru?”

“Ah, is it forbidden that I accompany both a kind prince and most wonderful princess?” Kaoru smiled playfully at her, patting Leon again before standing. “But of course, I come primarily for your company. As much as I love sweet little boy over here.” She blew him a little kiss, which Chisato decided to let slide because he deserved it.

“Of course, of course.” Chisato walked over towards her room, inviting Kaoru to follow. Leon walked beside the pair as well. “I know I said I was inviting you over for dinner, but... I hope you don’t mind that it’s a bit empty here. My sister is shopping with her friends, and my mom had to work late, so...” She glanced to the side, quietly laughing. “It’s a good thing, really. Maybe now she’ll stop stealing my clothes all the time.”

“Ah, well... the tides of fate rarely go as one wishes,” Kaoru teased. Chisato gave her a mildly irritated look.

“Right, right. It’s... even if it is good, we’ll have to cook.” The anger that was still there left her face, and Kaoru felt relieved that she hadn’t really hurt her. “I hope you’ve improved since our Easy-Bake Oven days, Kaoru.”

Kaoru knew in her soul that she had not. It was quite possible that she had gotten worse, actually.

“Ah, but of course I have. I shan’t let you down, Chisato.”

Chisato looked her in the eyes for a second before laughing, tossing open the door to her room as she did.

“I don’t believe you for a second.”

She gestured towards the bed, and although Kaoru had fully planned to wait until Chisato had sat down herself, it seemed that Chisato had other plans. Kaoru reluctantly sat, patting the space beside her for Leon to join.

“I think we still have some cup ramen,” Chisato said. “I’ll make you some tea as well, of course.”

“Don’t concern yourself with all of that. At least let me make us tea,” Kaoru protested. She tried to stand up, but Chisato pressed a firm hand on her thigh to keep her down.

“Keep Leon company. I know you’ll miss me for the full minute and a half that I’m gone, but I swear I’ll be back for him and the puppy in a minute.”

“I’m wounded, Chisato.”

“Good.” Chisato patted Leon’s head before walking out of the room, leaving Kaoru with him.

It only took a moment for Kaoru to be pulled in by his princely charms as Leon hit her with his tail—and as she moved her hands to pet his back, he excitedly placed both paws on her knees. Kaoru paid this no mind, petting him around his neck and upper back.

“What a good boy... yes, you’re a wonderful little—mmph!”

Kaoru’s words were interrupted by Leon jolting his head forward and attacking her face with kisses. He pushed her back with his paws and pushing a good portion of his weight directly into her solar plexus, covering her in dog kisses. When Chisato re-entered the room with two cups of ramen about a minute later, Kaoru was too preoccupied to look at her, but she could somehow tell that she was holding back laughter.

If Chisato had been either much smarter or much dumber, she would have led with an _“I always knew that Leon would kiss you before I did”_. Fortunately for her dignity, she was neither—and instead, she set the two cups down and led with something different entirely.

“Come on, Leon, get down. I’ll get you a treat-treat, okay? Mhm, let’s get a treat-treat.”

Leon’s ears perked up at the mention of the elusive treat, and he stepped off of Kaoru—he was rather gentle in that, thankfully. Kaoru remembered full well that he wasn’t nearly as gentle as a puppy.

Chisato pulled a bag of jerky treats off of a shelf in her room, handing one off to him. While he was preoccupied, she took both cups of ramen, gave one to Kaoru, and sat beside her with the other.

“The tea is steeping right now. I set a timer, but it should only be a few minutes.”

“That sounds wonderful. Thank you, Chisato.”

Chisato smiled, glancing up at her for a moment. “Don’t worry about it.”

The eye contact they shared would have lasted longer if Chisato hadn’t remembered that Leon had licked the entirety of Kaoru’s face. It almost looked like she was sweating, which would have been nice if Chisato had seen her mid-workout, but was mostly just funny in this context.

...come to think of it, did Kaoru work out? She must, right? Maybe her legs were just because of horse riding, but Chisato was certain that her arms had some muscle on them, too... did fencing do that?

If that monologue had been external, Chisato was quite certain she would have died.

“While we’re waiting for that, you can wash your face if you’d like. There are some face wipes in the bathroom that you can use.”

“Ah, right. I suppose I got distracted.” Kaoru took another bite of her ramen before standing and setting it on Chisato’s nightstand. “Make sure Leon doesn’t eat it, if you would?”

“I’ll promise no such thing, and if he does it’s your fault.”

Kaoru placed a hand over her heart as she stood by the door. “Then until we meet again, my dear friend.” She stepped out for a moment before poking her head back in. “Ah, but please don’t actually let Leon eat that. I fear it’s too salty for him.”

Chisato giggled. “Of course, of course.”

She left to wash her face, and while Chisato was left alone for a moment, she was preoccupied by watching Leon happily chew his treat. It seemed like Kaoru’s ramen hadn’t actually been in any danger, and Leon was missing enough teeth now that watching him try to dissolve the jerky in his mouth was an adventure in itself.

When Kaoru returned, her face smelled a bit like rubbing alcohol, and she had taken her hair down out of its ponytail. It wasn’t a sight Chisato hadn’t seen before, and it was probably just because she had kept it up all day, but... she did look nice with it down.

It was okay to think that much, wasn’t it?

Kaoru picked up her ramen and sat beside her, the same charming smile on her face. “I apologize for taking so long.”

“It’s all right,” Chisato responded. She hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “You look nice with your hair down.”

Kaoru’s face reddened a bit, and she found herself almost choking on a noodle. “I, er, thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Kaoru looked over at Chisato, wondering if she was being as obvious as she felt like she was. It was almost sort of foolish, feeling like she had a chance at all, but there wasn’t any harm in imagining.

Chisato looked back, trying to read her expression. Kaoru was usually that happy to be complimented, wasn’t she? Getting red-faced over that was normal. Still, it was... cute, and it was hard not to let her imagination run a bit wild.

They two of them were alone, in private, and probably would be for quite a while. If there was any time, it was now.

They held eye contact for a moment before Kaoru closed hers—and at the same time, Chisato leaned forward a bit, both of them hoping that they were right...

And the timer on Chisato’s phone went off, and both of them flinched, Kaoru’s eyes opening wide and Chisato pulling herself back.

“Th-That’s, er, our tea. I should... I’m going to get that,” Chisato said, standing up stiffly. “I’ll be right back.”

“Ah, right. Of course.”

Chisato left the room, and Kaoru stayed, looking back down at Leon. He had finished his treat, and was laying on the ground, and Kaoru patted the bed beside her. He perked up at that, looking to her for attention, and she reached her hand down and scratched his head. As soon as she started doing that, Leon began licking her wrist, leaning his head into her arm.

He was a good boy. Still, no matter how much she pet him, Kaoru couldn’t help but think about what had just happened.

Would Chisato have kissed her, too? Was it better that she didn’t?

She wasn’t supposed to throw their friendship away, not for something like that—as much as she hoped for a chance, it still didn’t feel worth it.

Chisato walked back in with the tea, and although she still felt a bit tense, she relaxed when she saw Kaoru petting Leon. Clearly, she hadn’t made things too awkward.

She set the tea back down and sat beside Kaoru, thinking a bit too hard about what an appropriate distance from her would be. About a foot, maybe? Not close enough for her to get her hopes up again.

Leon stopped licking Kaoru and turned his attention to Chisato, staring up at her with big, round eyes. Kaoru laughed, which was a pleasant sound in itself, but even more so when Chisato felt it calming her nerves.

“I think he wants your attention.”

“He always wants my attention. He’ll be fine.” Chisato looked over at Kaoru. “Just like someone else I know.”

“You’re brutal tonight, aren’t you?”

“I know. I just... I missed this. you did too, right?”

Chisato wanted to regret that sentence as soon as it came out of her mouth, but she didn’t. There was nothing better than knowing that she and Kaoru could joke around like old times, and if she didn’t know that Kaoru felt the same way, she wouldn’t have said it.

“I see, I see... then perhaps you should prepare for retaliation.”

Kaoru and Chisato both knew that Chisato was the funny one in their friendship, as well as that Kaoru didn’t have the heart to be mean to Chisato even in jest—but Chisato did like the idea that Kaoru would keep her guessing like that.

“Oh, I will. Stay on your game...” She paused for a moment before remembering they were in private. “...Kao-chan.”

Kaoru’s face flushed deep red at the nickname, and Chisato couldn’t help but laugh.

The next hour was like that, too—neither of them could stop laughing, making up for every day that they should have spent together for the last decade.

There was always something in the air, though—the fact that they had nearly kissed. At least... Kaoru had nearly kissed Chisato, and Chisato had nearly kissed Kaoru, and both of them felt a bit of shame each time they thought about it.

The constant uncertainty that their feelings went unreturned... the fear that it would all come out at the wrong time and everything would fall apart... it was easy to pretend that they weren’t thinking about it today, but it was always there.

The question of whether it was worth it or not was still getting harder, wasn’t it?

Eventually, enough time had passed that Kaoru found herself having to go home—something that was unfortunate, both because being alone would force her to confront her feelings and because she was having a lot of fun.

“Ah, as fun as today was, I’m afraid I’ll have to take my leave.”

“That’s fine. I’m...” Chisato hesitated for a moment. “I’m glad you came here tonight. It was good to see you.”

Kaoru smiled, looking down at her. Even after all of that time, seeing Chisato was still like a breath of fresh air. “Indeed, it was. We should spend time together like this more often... ah, are you free later this week?”

“I would have to check my schedule, but I think my last meeting on Thursday ends at 7:00, if that works for you.”

“Perfect. I hope to see you then?”

“Of course.” Chisato glanced up at her, and after a moment of hesitation that Kaoru was fairly certain was her taking a breath, leaned in to hug her.

Kaoru knew that Chisato had gotten much more physically affectionate with her bandmates and friends, and it wasn’t like they had never hugged before, but she didn’t expect that. Her hands found their way to rest on Chisato’s back, and her face grew warm.

It only lasted for a moment, and then they separated.

“Get home safe, Kaoru. Hopefully I’ll see you on Thursday.”

Kaoru didn’t have the guts to do anything more than nod. “I’ll be counting the minutes, my dearest friend.”

Chisato smiled at her, turned around, and walked back inside—and Kaoru was left having no idea what to do next.

All she knew was that she had missed seeing Chisato smile and laugh, everything that changed had changed for the better, and she wanted to keep her in her life. It didn’t matter if today hadn’t lasted forever—there were a lot of tomorrows for them.

Or there would be, if only Kaoru had the guts to do anything about it.

She decided to text Lisa, just to figure out what cane next.

[Kaoru] Something quite important happened today.

A few minutes passed. Once Kaoru arrived home—safely, as Chisato had requested—she decided that double texting was her only option here.

[Kaoru] Lisa, I beg of you, please help. I am dying here.  
[Lisa] i know you’re just being gay kaoru  
[Lisa] you told me and hina you were going over to your girlfriends house like ten times today  
[Kaoru] She isn’t my girlfriend.  
[Lisa] mhmmmm  
[Lisa] breaking news: kaoru seta sees a titty  
[Kaoru] I did NOT  
[Lisa] two? ;3c  
[Kaoru] We almost kissed, I think. Perhaps.  
[Lisa] so you didn’t??  
[Kaoru] It felt like we should have, but I’m not certain what Chisato was trying to do.  
[Lisa] are you kidding me? you have to ask her out. right now  
[Kaoru] We’ll be seeing each other again on Thursday.  
[Lisa] like a date?

Kaoru decided that answering that one would be against her better judgement.

[Lisa] tell me or you’re straight  
[Kaoru] I wouldn’t exactly consider it a date.  
[Lisa] god  
[Lisa] ok u know what it’s fine. ur getting there i care you  
[Lisa] but also smooch her already  
[Kaoru] Trust me when I say that I am working on it.  
[Lisa] nice

The conversation ended there, but Kaoru knew she had to work out something.

Just... not now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading as always!! chapter 9 drops in two weeks so look forward to it


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chisato seeks out a friend’s advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one was a lil later than it usually is!! i forgot it was friday until maybe 5 minutes ago  
> anyway hope u all enjoy!

Ever since Sunday, Chisato hadn’t been able to stop thinking.

She lay in bed wondering what it would have been like if she had kissed Kaoru. Her mind constantly wandered to that moment, whether she was sipping tea with Kanon or in the middle of the studio or just alone at home.

Aya helped, she supposed. She was busy with her job a lot of the time, but she only occasionally had to go to meetings, so she was free most evenings when Chisato called her. She was quick to offer easy platitudes, little things to make her feel more confident. A lot of the time, it helped.

Just as often, though, Chisato would put down the phone and feel like nothing was being accomplished. Aya was sweet and hardworking and always did her best, and Chisato wasn’t about to break her heart by telling her she wasn’t helping, but... she really wasn’t. Aya telling her that it was okay to wait and that she was pretty enough to make Kaoru fall to her knees was nice, especially combined with her awkward Aya-isms when she talked about her own girlfriend, but it was never substantial advice. Chisato had gotten tired of waiting, and she knew that Aya didn’t really know Kaoru.

Chisato knew Kaoru better than just about everyone, and even she didn’t know how to approach this.

She tried to go to Kanon first. Kaoru’s bandmates probably knew best, right? And alongside Pastel*Palettes and Kaoru herself, Kanon was probably her best friend. Besides, they talked about girls often enough, although it had died down a bit now that Kanon was in a relationship. It wasn’t weird, and Kanon could actually help.

“Chisato-chan!”

Kanon waved her over from where she was sitting at the coffee shop. This place was tiny and quiet and hardly ever got any business—Chisato had to politely but firmly ask the owner to leave them alone, although she couldn’t help but feel a bit bad knowing that they had probably been his first customers all day. Still, the fact that it was so quiet was exactly why she picked it, even though they didn’t have much more than black coffee when it came to drinks. Kanon could probably take a pretty good guess at her order by now considering they almost exclusively hung out at tea houses, but that guess was even easier with so few options. Chisato wasn’t exactly surprised to see two mugs already on their table as she sat down.

“It’s good to see you again, Kanon. I know I can’t stay for too long, but I thought it would be nice to see each other again, especially since I’ll be occupied on Thursday.”

“It’s okay! I know you’re busy, and I understand that you want to spend time with Kaoru.” Kanon took a sip of her coffee. “Really, though… I know you say you’re all right, but you’ve definitely seemed more nervous lately. Is there anything I can do to help? I know I’ve been taking on a lot of shifts lately, but I’m not too busy…” 

That was a lie. Kanon was almost as busy as Chisato was with the amount of work she had been doing—she had university to pay for soon, after all.

“Honestly, I’m not sure. Really, I just… want things to go further with her, you know?” Chisato sipped her drink and avoided eye contact as much as possible. Saying that out loud was embarrassing enough without it. “I know you weren’t the one to ask Misaki-chan out, but if you know any… tips, it would be appreciated.”

Kanon looked a bit nervous all of a sudden, and Chisato felt like she knew where this was going.

“I’m sorry, Chisato-chan… I really don’t know how to do that. It’s a lot easier once you’re in a relationship, definitely! But, um, when I was still just crushing on Misaki-chan, I ended up asking Kaoru-san and Tae-chan for help. I know you can’t ask Kaoru-san, though, and Tae-chan… um, she wasn’t very helpful.”

“I could… definitely see that.” Chisato started wondering if that flower shop that Tae had recommended did other designs. Maybe a Shakespeare made of daisies would be enough… she wondered if they could put titties on a carnation Nietzsche. Maybe encouraging that particular dumb idea of hers would be enough to confess.

...or, more likely, asking Tae for help was a bad idea. Not that she was on Chisato’s radar anyway, but thinking about the sort of suggestions she would make was at least amusing enough to make her feel better.

“Chisato-chan? Are you actually thinking about it?”

Chisato wanted to say that she was not, but she was. Just a little bit. The smile on her face probably gave it away.

“Not seriously.” Her expression turned more serious again. As much fun as it was to think about hypotheticals, she did still have a meeting in an hour, and she didn’t want to walk out disappointed again. “But, well… if you aren’t sure what to do…” She thought for a moment, and then realized. This was a good way to get Kaoru’s advice without actually going to her. “Ah, of course. What did Kaoru tell you when you asked?”

Kanon grinned sheepishly. “Well, honestly, she wasn’t too helpful either… something about serenading her with a love song on a sunset boat ride.”

If Chisato owned a boat and that didn’t sound so outright humiliating, it would probably work on Kaoru. Unfortunately, neither of those things was true.

“Ah, well, that’s… about what I should have expected.”

Kanon laughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry, Chisato-chan… I wish I could help more.”

Chisato shook her head. “No, it’s fine. You’re trying to help.”

She stopped to sip her drink, Kanon did the same a moment afterwards, and nobody talked for a moment.

“Um, I… I saw a new cute dog account online! The owner has a golden lab that looks just like Leon. Do you want the link…? Just as a distraction, if you ever need it.”

Chisato nodded, opened up the link when Kanon sent it to her, and… huh. That dog really did look like Leon.

“Ah! I saw an ocean animals account earlier. Some of the videos are odd, to say the least, but I thought you might like it. Hold on just a moment…”

The next half-hour they spent there together was surprisingly fun, even though it mostly just consisted of them swapping cute animal pictures. Maybe it didn’t solve her problem, but... Chisato supposed she could appreciate this time in its own way.

Still, as soon as she stepped out of the coffee shop and went on her way to her meeting, the realization that nothing had been solved hit her hard. If she was really dead-set on changing the way things were with Kaoru, she would need to find another answer.

The only question was… what was left?

Kaoru’s bandmates still seemed like the best choice, but when Chisato thought it through, the idea of going to one of them immediately fell apart.

Hagumi was her friend, someone she always cared for and trusted to do the same in return, but she could confidently say that she would have no idea what to do with this. Kokoro and Misaki were also close with Kaoru, but even though Chisato had a decently friendly relationship with both of them, they weren’t exactly in the ‘crack-open-your-whole-soul-and-unpack-feelings-that-originated-when-you-were-six’ zone yet. Not that Chisato was really comfortably in that zone with anyone, but her own bandmates were probably about the closest she could get to it. Maybe that was the better choice.

She wished she could talk to Kaoru. She was comfortable talking to her about almost everything, but... there were more than a few problems with that option.

Eve and Kaoru had only briefly spent time together, so she probably wouldn’t be much help—and although her endless optimism was sweet, it was exactly the opposite of what she needed right now. Hina and Kaoru were friends, though—Chisato was pretty sure they were, at least, even though Hina talked about it like she just thought it was fun to follow her around. At the same time, though... would Hina give good advice, or just say whatever she thought would turn out the most interesting? Chisato figured it would be the former, but not being sure was uneasy, to say the least.

And Maya... well, even though she was close with Kaoru, Chisato just couldn’t tell her how she was feeling. Maya wasn’t the kind of person who you could talk with about crushes—she didn’t really give off the impression of the romantic type, and she probably wouldn’t know how to handle things like that.

As soon as Chisato thought that, she realized that it wasn’t quite right. She had spent long enough enforcing Maya’s insecurities, and she wasn’t about to continue now. Maya wasn’t a stereotype or an inconvenience—Maya was intelligent, down-to-earth, unfalteringly caring and trustworthy... and most importantly, Maya was Chisato’s friend. It didn’t matter what she had thought of her when she first joined Pastel*Palettes, or what preconceived notions she held about her.

At a time like this, who else could she go to?

On Tuesday of that week, Pastel*Palettes had a rehearsal for their next concert. Chisato thought that making the decision to talk to Maya about all of this would have cleared her head a bit, but everything was still just as fuzzy and unclear. Thankfully, she had rehearsed the song they were working on at home in excess so she didn’t look too off, but she felt a bit more on autopilot than usual.

She didn’t know why she was so nervous. All of Pastel*Palettes already knew, but talking about her feelings in depth... Chisato wasn’t used to talking about her feelings at all.

Hina strummed her last chord of the day, Maya wiped the sweat off her brow, Aya carefully set her mic back in its stand, Eve moved to hand the rest of the band their water bottles, and Chisato took a deep breath. It was now or never, she supposed.

Well, now or... tomorrow, or the day after, or the weekend, or...

“Maya-chan, when you have a moment, can we talk?”

Now.

“Oh, yeah, of course! What’s up?” Maya asked.

“Ah, not... here. Somewhere a bit more private,” Chisato said.

“Hm... oh, you can come over to my place!” Maya suggested. “It’s not far from here, and my parents are both working late tonight. I’ll make us tea, too!”

“That sounds lovely.” Chisato smiled at her before looking back at the rest of her bandmates. “It seems like we’ll be off, then. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

Their bandmates quickly said their goodbyes before the two of them left.

As Chisato and Maya walked down the sidewalk, the sun shining brightly on them, Chisato realized that she would soon have to face her worst enemy: the train. She had never been to Maya’s house, so she didn’t know if it would be a straight shot there or actually nightmarish, and she definitely wasn’t about to ask.

As if she wasn’t nervous enough already.

“Are you feeling okay, Chisato-san?”

“Oh! Er, yes, of course. I’m just thinking about something… important?”

She said that last part with some question, because in the grand scheme of things, it really shouldn’t be that important—it was a crush on someone who probably wouldn’t like her back anyway. Still, it felt important in the moment, and she wasn’t about to go into more detail while they were in public.

She wasn’t quite sure if Maya picked up on it when she responded. “Well, I’ll try to help!”

“I appreciate it.”

Thankfully, the train ride wasn’t too hellish—it turned out that Maya’s house was closer to the studio than she thought, and they only had to switch stations once—and the two of them walked inside.

“You haven’t actually been here yet, have you? My room’s right here.”

As she thanked Maya and walked in, Chisato realized that she actually hadn’t been over here yet. Maya’s room was about what she had expected—green and off-white walls, some tools and paper and a spare pair of glasses scattered across a coffee table, music-related memorabilia everywhere she looked.. it was nice, and it looked like Maya kept it clean. The only thing that seemed to be missing was a cramped space for her to hole up in.

Chisato waited for Maya to sit down on the bed before she took the cue to do the same.

“So, Chisato-san! What’s up?”

“Ah, well...” Chisato had replayed various ideas of what this conversation would be in her head several times, and she was only now realizing that those thoughts only covered the middle part. “Do you remember when... we all went sightseeing together? And went to the restaurant afterwards?”

“Yeah...?” Maya answered, clearly waiting for more information.

“And, how... well, you know, don’t you?”

Maya hesitated. “...is this about Aya-san’s shirt? We weren’t actually going to let Hina-san put chlorine gas on it.”

Chisato stared her down for a moment. “...it is not.”

“Oh. Well, um...” Maya glanced around the room, and her eyes settled on a photo she had placed on the shelf.

A photo from strike after the last performance of _Richard III_. Kaoru had starred in that, hadn’t she?

That didn’t really make sense, though. Maya knew about Chisato having a crush on her and all, but if it was about Kaoru, it would be kind of surprising if she went to her.

Chisato noticed her looking, though, and she glanced over there as well.

Ah. It seemed that Maya had figured her out already. She looked back at her, not sure what else to say.

As far as she was concerned, she didn’t even get the chance to properly say it before she was caught.

“I need your help, Maya-chan. I don’t know where I’m supposed to go with this now.”

It took Maya much longer to put two and two together here than Chisato seemed to expect, but after a moment of nervous hesitation, she got it. Or... she thought she did? It didn’t feel like she did.

“Wait, is this about Kaoru-san?” Maya asked. “And you’re going to...?” She gestured to herself, still a bit unsure.

“Well... yes. You don’t need to be surprised, really. I wanted to talk to you because, you know... I trust you, and I think you can help.”

Maya couldn’t help but smile at that. “Well, I’ll try! So... what can I help with?”

“Well, there was... a situation when Kaoru and I last spent time together, and now I’m wondering if I should ask her out.” Chisato sighed. “I... well, quite a bit happened, and I’m not sure if she noticed I was… feeling anything or not. I have no idea what came over me, really, but I’ve been thinking about it ever since.”

“If you really feel that way, then... I don’t know. Maybe you should try it?” Maya suggested. “I don’t know. Uh, sorry, I’m not... I’m not all that good with this stuff.”

“I wouldn’t need to ask her out now, since we’re meeting up again on Thursday. I was... if I was going to, I would do it then. I’ll have the whole weekend to... recuperate, I suppose? If she rejects me.”

The idea that Kaoru might actually reject her made a it feel like a small pit was growing in her stomach. Nausea was something that came with anxiety, but it still didn’t make it less annoying.

“Chisato-san, I...” Maya tried to decide how much she could say. She knew they liked each other, and now that Chisato was actually going to tell her, maybe it was the right time? Still, it felt wrong coming out of her mouth. She couldn’t say a lot in this situation, but in a situation like this, it felt like her job to give her enough. “I don’t think she’s going to.”

“You don’t have to try to make me feel better.”

Chisato began to think that this may have been a mistake. No matter who she talked to, it would go the same way—she just wasn’t cut out to tell Kaoru before someone better did.

“No, really! Chisato-san, Kaoru-san really does care about you. She, uh...” Maya tried to think—because this wasn’t about her, and it wasn’t really about Chisato, either. What did Kaoru think? What had she really told her? “Your performance as Romeo and Juliet still means a lot to her! And she thinks... she wants to support you, and help you achieve your dreams. And, well... she likes spending time with you, even though she sometimes worries that all of that is an inconvenience to you.” She stopped talking, worried that she had given too much away, and quickly tried to shift her tone. “So, even if... things go badly, uh, I think she would want to still be close with you! Nothing has to change. Kaoru-san wouldn’t let it.”

When she didn’t get an answer after a moment, Maya briefly worried that she had said something wrong.

“...did she tell you that?” Chisato asked. Her tone seemed cautious, moments from letting her guard down, and Maya wasn’t sure if she should be nervous or not.

“More or less.”

Chisato took a moment to process that, and she smiled.

It was so obvious. It had been in front of her this whole time.

She was here because of everyone else. Aya had gone out of her way to talk to her when she was upset, Kanon had helped her feel better even when she didn’t know how to offer advice, Hagumi and Rimi had coached her when she wasn’t sure what to do next, Lisa and Eve had helped her find a style that made her feel confident...

Hina. Tae. Sayo. Misaki. Kokoro. Every person who had been there when she needed it, everyone who gave her an extra second of her day.

And now Maya was right here, telling her what she should have known from the start.

Kaoru wasn’t just someone Chisato had a crush on—she was one of those friends, too. From when they were little and she defended her from the mean older kids on the playground, as they grew into young adults and she encouraged her to follow her dreams with Pastel*Palettes, and now… Kaoru seemed to take every opportunity to connect with her. Even little things like remembering her drink order, spending her day off with her, sharing her worries about her audition, and reminiscing about the past with her meant the world to her. Chisato couldn’t directly tell her about the problems she was having, but it was clear that Kaoru had done all she could to support her, too.

She had let herself feel so alone, no matter how much she was surrounded by people who loved her and cared about her, that she never got the chance to think about what was really happening—but if it hadn’t been for Kaoru, she would have been completely separated from her band when they needed each other the most. If it hadn’t been for Kaoru, she wouldn’t have had any real friends growing up. If it hadn’t been for Kaoru, she would never have opened up to her friends like she could now. If it hadn’t been for Kaoru, it would have been easier to be the cold-hearted professional that she was supposed to, but she would have lost something along the way.

That love that Kaoru showed throughout their whole lives, the camaraderie that Chisato could always believe in, the faith that she never lost in Kaoru and the faith she was inspired to have in everyone else… that was something she didn’t want to lose. Kaoru was someone she didn’t want to lose, and if she let her fear of telling her that control her, losing her was a very present risk.

And if she did tell her…

She would probably reject her, and Chisato would be upset that she rejected her, and Kaoru would admire her honesty, and her reassurance that they could still be friends wouldn’t be empty words—it would be genuine and comfortable and _real_ , and nothing would have to change.

If it hadn’t been for the love that everyone had shown Chisato when she was struggling with all of those feelings she didn’t understand, she never would have been sitting in this room with Maya, realizing that for the first time.

All of her friends had been with her the whole time. She really just had to let one person know that—the friend who had been with her the longest.

“I think... I think I want to tell her.”

“That’s really great, Chisato-san. For what it’s worth, I think you should, too.”

Chisato laughed. “It’s... actually worth a lot. Thanks, Maya-chan.”

Maya couldn’t help but feel proud when she saw her reaction. She used to have trouble making friends with other girls until she went to an all-girl high school, so the idea that she could ever be sitting in her room, talking about crushes with one of her best friends, felt far off in the distance. Not that it had exactly been a lifelong dream for her, but now that it was happening... it was nice to know that it was something she could do.

Chisato looked like she was in a much better mood, too. Maya hadn’t really taken the time to consciously process that she could help her friends with things that were harder than little technical problems, but now that evidence of that was right in front of her, she felt like she was glowing.

“Hey, Chisato-san... you don’t have anything else going on tonight, right?”

Chisato shook her head. “I still have some math homework to finish, but that shouldn’t take more than half an hour.”

Maya nodded at that. “So, are you free to... you know, hang out? I mean, you did come all the way over here.”

“It’s really not that far from my house, you know… I would love to. It feels like we don’t spend enough time together sometimes.”

“We really don’t. Honestly, I wish I spent more time with other people that wasn’t just working, but... it’s always really busy. Especially now that I’m stage managing.”

“Hm... you could always invite Eve-chan and Hagumi-chan to sit in on a rehearsal sometime,” Chisato suggested. “I’m sure they’d both love to see more of you.”

“Eve-san and Hagumi-san...?” Maya asked. Chisato just giggled. It seemed like she wasn’t the only one who needed a bit of encouragement.

“I know you have a big crush on those two, and they both love Haneoka’s productions.”

“Oh, you know about that?” Maya smiled a bit nervously. “You’re really perceptive, though. Aya-san and Hina-san haven’t figured it out, right?”

“Aya-chan is the one who told me. You know how we’ve been video calling quite often lately.” Originally, those video calls had mostly been about Kaoru, but they both liked to talk to each other whenever they had a chance—and neither of them was above gossip. Still, Chisato couldn’t deny that she was mostly just interested because she wanted to make Maya happy. “I’d imagine working together like that would be fun for all three of you, if your director is all right with it.”

Maya’s expression grew almost sheepish, as much as she still seemed to be in a good mood. “Well, I guess if I could help with your crush, you could help with mine... I’m sure Kaoru-san wouldn’t mind if you wanted to sit in on a rehearsal sometime, too.”

“Huh? Me?” Chisato flushed pink, glancing to the side. “That’s... well, a big step forward, isn’t it? I’ve only been in a show there once, after all.”

Maya let out a small chuckle at that, and pretty soon, Chisato was laughing, too. She didn’t know when those little bursts of warmth and nervous flutters in her heart when she thought about doing romantic things with Kaoru had come from, but whatever that feeling was, she wanted it to stick around.

Maybe Chisato’s nerves couldn’t go away completely, but the support of her friends eased the burden a million times over. Maya’s words, the suggestion of all of the things that she and Kaoru could do if things worked out, the talk of a double date when Maya eventually asked her own crushes out... when she and Kaoru had met up at the fountain at the beginning of January, all of those suggestions would have felt like they were too good to be true.

With Chisato’s next meeting with Kaoru only two days away, they felt closer to being true than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i just. i just think they’re neat


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru tries to take a moment for herself at Hazawa Coffee.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay on this one fellas! i hope you like it

Kaoru didn’t know what to think about last Sunday.

She didn’t know why she had suddenly felt so nervous. She had considered herself to be confident when it came to confessing her feelings to Chisato—any hesitancy she may have shown was just respect to Chisato’s feelings as well, the knowledge that she almost certainly wouldn’t love Kaoru in the same way. Still, in that moment, it didn’t seem like that. She just felt... cowardly. It was a feeling she hadn’t felt in a while, and one she certainly didn’t like, but there was little she could do about it. If overcoming her cowardice meant inconveniencing Chisato, making her worry about Kaoru’s feelings when Chisato’s feelings were the ones that really mattered, then she would rather just stay silent.

She didn’t want to worry her bandmates, either. She had rehearsal that day, but she had a bit of time before then—she could probably stand to clear her head with some coffee before then. For a moment, she continued inviting someone else, but... she was doing this to avoid bothering her bandmates. She didn’t want to bother them, too.

Hazawa Coffee got most of its business in the morning, and after school, it was usually only occupied by a few people at a time. Right now, though, it was prime time for Himari to come in and tell Tsugumi everything about the events of that day.

“And I remembered that, oh my god, Kaoru-senpai’s birthday is only a little more than a month away! So of course I got distracted, because I hadn’t started planning anything yet... I don’t know if I want to write her a song, or a poem, or... ooh, maybe I could write a chapter of that manga we came up with!” Himari perked up for a moment, but went right back down when she realized she had gotten distracted again. “But then Kazue told me we had to get back to work on our project... but just because it’s true doesn’t mean that it’s right. She’s a fan of Kaoru-senpai too, right? So isn’t it weird that she couldn’t, I don’t know, brainstorm with me or-“

The door opened about halfway through that sentence.

“Sorry, Himari-chan! Give me a minute.” Tsugumi turned to face the customer. “Hi, welcome t—oh, Seta-senpai! It’s good to see you. You can go ahead and sit anywhere. Ah, can I get you something?”

While Kaoru ordered her black coffee, Himari realized that she was kind of relieved that she didn’t keep talking.

Still, Kaoru was acting... weird? Himari had been lucky enough to see Kaoru in coffee shops before, and she would always greet her friends and fans. Himari liked to think that she qualified as at least one of those, so not being able to at least say hi was strange. Not just that, but Kaoru had been kind of quiet when she placed her order. Theatre kids could usually be identified from a mile away from their projection, especially when they were actually good actors like Kaoru was, but Himari couldn’t hear her as well as usual.

Maybe she was just... in a bad mood. She could be upset about something.

And as much as Himari hated to admit it, she had sort of dreamed of a situation like this for a while. Kaoru had always been such a brave hero, coming in to help anyone who needed it—but here Himari was, able to swoop in valiantly and save the day and support her. When she had saved Kaoru from that model scout, she had been grateful, but to make it a pattern? Himari could cheer her up, be the emotional support she needed, and... do whatever came after that!

Being Kaoru’s savior... a dream come true.

She decided to walk up to Kaoru, carrying her teacup with her. Her hand shook, and until she set it down safely on Kaoru’s table, she feared that she might drop it.

“Um... Kaoru-senpai?” she asked. “Are you feeling okay?”

Kaoru looked up, seeming almost surprised. She supposed she should be used to people approaching her by now, but she didn’t expect actual concern. “Ah, it’s nothing that you need to worry about, little kitten. I’ll be fine.”

That wasn’t a yes, so Himari was going to worry regardless of what she said. “Are you sure? I really... um, I really want to help you if you aren’t!”

“I’m quite sure. Trust me when I say that you likely wouldn’t want to know.”

Well, now she _definitely_ wanted to know.

“Kaoru-senpai... I’m your friend, okay?” Himari said. “You can forget that I’m a fan of yours if it helps, but I’m worried either way!”

Kaoru sighed. Himari wasn’t giving up.

Maybe it would be nice to talk to someone, anyway... and she was sure that wondering what she did wrong would be worse on Himari than just knowing that Kaoru was pining over someone else.

Truly, being gorgeous lead to so many hard choices.

“...all right. You can go ahead and sit down, little kitten.”

Himari sat down.

“So, um... hi, Kaoru-senpai!” She put on a somewhat forced smile in an attempt to make her feel more comfortable. “What’s... you know, the problem?”

“The problem? Alas...” How to say it, how to say it... “It is but that.”

Wow! Her signature catchphrase, besides ‘fleeting’, ‘to quote Shakespeare’, and ‘come see our show’... Himari felt like she would die on the spot!

...hey, wait. That wasn’t an answer.

“But... what?” Himari asked.

“Well, you see, ‘tis merely... ah... w-well...”

Kaoru was getting embarrassed from her lack of composure, and she was about to break. That much was clear.

She just... didn’t want to disappoint anyone. She had hidden her crush for over a decade to avoid hurting Chisato—it felt wrong to hurt someone who she knew had feelings for her.

“I’m... nervous for the cast list to come out.”

That wasn’t the most convincing lie she could have come up with, but now that auditions and callbacks were over, she had to deal with the painful wait for the cast list. It was supposed to be emailed out during school that day, but it hadn’t been, so that was certainly an excuse.

“Oh, that! Well... um, you don’t have to be afraid, Kaoru-senpai! Maya-senpai is helping with the cast list, right? And you’re a star performer anyway! You’re totally gonna get Lucentio, especially because you got called back for him! And you, um... you did a really good job at callbacks!”

God, Himari was blushing just thinking about it. She hadn’t gone to tennis club that day just so she could watch callbacks, and... Kaoru looked so good up there! If she wasn’t busy with tennis, she totally would have auditioned for... Katherine? Yeah! They’d be the perfect Lucentio and Katherine!

Himari decided that she should really learn more about Shakespeare before she tried talking to Kaoru about theatre stuff.

“Ah, you truly believe so? Thank you.” Kaoru smiled, and Himari took a moment to analyze it—definitely not just because she thought Kaoru’s smile was brighter than the sun or anything.

Man, Kaoru looked tired. That cast list must have really gotten her worried, huh...?

“Is there, you know, anything else? Um, I can... I can ask you for help in return, if it’d make you feel better! But I promise you aren’t bothering me or anything! I really just, um... want to know everything about you, and help you with everything I can...?” Himari wasn’t sure if that last part sounded too gay. She hoped not.

“You presume something else beguiles my soul?” Kaoru asked, in a way that she certainly thought was a clever maneuver to avoid the question.

“No, not really! You just seem really tired, and, um... I don’t know. Maybe I’m just worrying for no reason, but... you seem like you didn’t want to tell me, and I know we aren’t super close or anything, but I care about you and all of Haneoka cares about you and I don’t really know how serious this is or anything but I don’t think it’s just you being nervous about the cast list because everyone else is also really nervous about the cast list-“

Himari took a second to breathe.

“-and you’re normally so cool and collected and I really want to make sure... you know...”

“Himari-chan, truly, it’s... I’ve merely been overthinking.”

“Overthinking what?”

“There’s, er, a... woman.” Kaoru nodded. “Yes, a woman indeed, and she, er... you see, the two of us...”

“You like her?” Himari asked.

“Yes, I do. I’m simply... hm. It’s quite complicated.”

She wasn’t sure if she should be excited or disappointed. Of course she was thrilled, because, well... if she confessed and it went well—and it certainly would, because who _wouldn’t_ like Kaoru Seta—she would get to be happy with a girl she loved. All that Himari had ever wanted was for Kaoru to be happy.

If someone as great as Kaoru couldn’t tell anyone, though, then maybe she was dealing with something else entirely. Maybe she didn’t think it was okay to like girls in general, but… that felt kind of ridiculous coming from her. It was true for Himari, sure, but not for somebody like Kaoru! There had to be something else, and Himari _had_ to get to the bottom of it—because if Kaoru wasn’t at her best, then how could anyone be?

“But you want to tell her?”

Kaoru nodded. “I do. I’d love for her to know everything I’m feeling, but... well, I suppose it’s like right now. She’s busy enough already, and she doesn’t deserve to be burdened with my problems.”

Himari thought for a moment. Whoever Kaoru liked, she was sure that having a busy schedule wouldn’t hurt her chances. “Well, um... I know this is probably really private, so you don’t have to tell me, but, um... you know...”

“I, er...” Kaoru sipped her coffee as a way to avoid Himari’s eye contact while she figured out how to answer. “Chisato. I’ve been interested in her for...” She smiled at the thought. “A while.”

Somehow, talking to Himari actually felt... comfortable for Kaoru. It was odd. She had really only told Misaki and Hagumi about Chisato, and even then only in the mildest terms, but... it seemed like Himari was going to help her, whether she asked or not. Having someone there to force her to think was perhaps the only thing that pushed her forward anymore.

Himari’s face lit up a bit when she noticed Kaoru smiling. Maybe if she could help them get together, everyone would get to see more of that—her real smile, not the one she projected in her performances.

“You two would be great together,” Himari said, trying to be cheerful. “And, I mean... liking girls is great!”

Himari was many things, but subtle was not one of them. Still, Kaoru wasn’t bothered by the sentiment.

“Indeed, it truly is. And although romance is... currently occupying my mind quite a bit, I’m happy to hold all women close to my heart, as I cherish my friends and my little kittens.” Kaoru hesitated before speaking further—talking about loving her friends was easy for her, but talking about the feelings that she had spent 11 years pretending were just friendship was much more difficult. “I was going to confess, but, ah... I was interrupted before I got the chance.”

“Oh, you were... interrupted?” Himari asked. “Well, you and Chisato-san are really good friends, right? I’m sure you could tell her when you two hang out again!”

That was the answer, wasn’t it? Just... telling her. It was the obvious solution. In fact, it was a solution so obvious that it was the only way to convey one’s romantic feelings to another. That much should have made it easy.

She didn’t want to be scared, but her nerves ran deep on this one. She and Chisato had always been there for each other, no matter how much Kaoru avoided help for her own problems. She couldn’t burden her now, not when being her ally mattered as much as ever. If Chisato had to worry about Kaoru’s feelings when she was already dealing with so many other things, then... it wasn’t the sort of thing she could tell her.

Every moment she spent with Chisato made her feel more alive—it didn’t matter what it was. Whether she was casually meeting up with her, going out with her and their other friends, performing on the street together, enjoying an hour at a café with her, texting her during lunch, staying at her house, or any other number of things, she was lucky to be with her. She was thrilled to be able to spend time with someone who was... so beautiful, so kind, so genuinely _Chisato_.

If she could be that happy as they were, her longing for a kiss didn’t need to get in the way.

“Well... perhaps I could. It’s just... too much, is it not? I already know I love her, and... I’m sure she knows how dearly I care for her, too. I don’t want to force her to deal with my feelings.”

Himari kind of understood that, honestly. It was too much to talk about your feelings, too difficult for others to understand. It felt easier to just... quit.

But Chisato _did_ care about Kaoru! She could talk about her fondly with Himari, even if that much was somewhat of a recent phenomenon... and even though she had rolled her eyes when Himari and Rimi asked her about their childhood, she couldn’t hide that it was a fond memory. Even though Himari didn’t know if Chisato shared Kaoru’s feelings, it wouldn’t put pressure on her. Knowing that Kaoru loved her that much might even make her happy.

But how could Himari tell that to Kaoru? She could barely process that in her own mind, and... if Himari didn’t even believe that something like that would happen with her own love life, Kaoru would never believe it would apply to hers.

Someone who Kaoru cared about... someone who loved her, even though she didn’t view them the same way...

It couldn’t be her bandmates. Misaki and Kanon were together, Hagumi had other crushes, and Kokoro didn’t have much interest in romance.

Her fans, then. Kaoru put her entire heart into caring about her fans.

...hey, she was one of those! She was a fan! And that meant...

“Kaoru-senpai, I’m in love with you!”

The words came spilling out of Himari’s mouth all at once, before she even fully understood that her brain was moving directly to her mouth. As soon as she did, she looked up at Kaoru with some panic, expecting her to be... mad, maybe?

Instead, she mostly just looked surprised by the outburst.

...Himari had dug herself in too deep.

“Um, I... I-I, I think about you all the time! I come to all of your performances, and sit in on callbacks, and... I actually bought one of those posters with your face on them that Haneoka theatre was selling, and I’ve thought about writing manga about you, and I always get you chocolate every Valentine’s Day and also White Day even though I get too nervous to give it to you and usually end up eating it myself, and I asked Chisato-san what you were like as a kid, and... my friends just think I’m a fan and don’t even know I like girls, but I... I do, and I really love you...”

Kaoru had heard many a love confession in her time, but never any so... abrupt, passionate, and detailed at the same time. However, ‘stunned into silence’ wasn’t a good look for one’s admirers, so she spoke.

“Himari-chan, I must truly apologize. My heart... it lies with Chisato, and although many of my friends love multiple women, I am not one of them. I may have led you on too suddenly by opening up like that, and I truly do apologize if that was a lapse in judgement on my part, but alas... I do not see you as a partner, but a friend. A friend who I would love to be closer to, even.”

Himari shook her head. “No, um... you didn’t lead me on at all, actually! I knew you were going to say no.”

She did, and she wasn’t about to admit that maybe proclaiming her love for her in an almost-empty coffee shop wasn’t her only opportunity here, so... she stuck to it.

“Ah, then...?”

Kaoru’s demeanor changed to one of confusion. Himari couldn’t blame her—it was a confusing sort of day.

“I told you because, um... I wanted you to know, and I thought it was the right time. And, you know, I see you having to reject a bunch of people every day... but it doesn’t make you resent us or anything, right? You still care a lot, and that’s what we all like about you!”

It was true. Kaoru couldn’t hate any of her fans, and even though rejecting them hurt a bit, the first thing she always thought of was wanting to get closer to everyone. Every hope, every dream she had... they were fueled by those fans, the people she cared about. Her allies in a world that was filled with hidden pockets of hope and love, the smiles she wanted to spread around the world.

Chisato... Chisato was her ally, too. No matter what happened, she couldn’t worry about getting in her way—because as much as Kaoru did with her fans, or perhaps even more than that, they supported each other. No matter what.

After all of that time, all of that mutual love, there really was a chance that she could say yes. Twelve years since they had met, eleven years since Kaoru had fallen for her... still, they had always been there for each other.

It didn’t matter how much Kaoru had gotten used to brushing aside her own feelings. Isn’t that what Chisato had wanted to prevent this whole time?

“Perhaps... perhaps I should.”

Himari nodded. “You should! She’ll be happy to know, and, um... well, I don’t know for sure, but I think she’s going to say yes!”

Kaoru smiled a bit at that, and Himari smiled back. There it was again—that genuine happiness on Kaoru’s face.

Himari really hoped that things went well for her. She deserved to feel that way every day.

“Indeed, I, er... I may only hope she does.”

Himari looked over Kaoru one more time, trying to find any nervousness in her expression, when...

_Ding!_

“Ah, excuse me, Himari-chan. I have to check this... oh, dear. It’s getting a bit late, so I may have to leave in just a minute.” Kaoru pressed the button on her email app, looking over it quickly.

If her expression hadn’t been lit up in childish excitement from Himari’s encouragement, then it certainly was now.

“What is it, Kaoru-senpai?” Himari asked, trying to resist the physical urge to look over Kaoru’s shoulder.

“The cast list was just released… as I hoped, I’ve been cast as Lucentio.”

Himari looked just as excited for her once she said that, standing from her seat and opening her arms to Kaoru. “I knew you would get him!”

It took a moment, but Kaoru realized that Himari wanted to hug her. She slipped her phone back in her pocket and wrapped her arms around her.

She had been getting a lot of hugs lately. She wasn’t going to complain, of course—she really needed them.

“Thank you, Himari-chan. If all goes well with Chisato, you and Misaki will be the first to know.”

Himari felt like her heart was soaring. The first to know...! Maybe she wasn’t ever going to be anything but Kaoru’s friend, but... being Kaoru’s friend felt pretty damn good.

Kaoru separated from the hug, her cool demeanor quickly taking over her excitement. “Alas, my rehearsal draws ever nearer... farewell, my friend. If there is ever anything you need, do not hesitate to ask.”

“See you later, Kaoru-senpai!”

As Kaoru walked down the street towards CiRCLE, she found herself thinking—but unlike her thoughts at the beginning of the day, they were much more cheerful. Himari had been so open, so supportive, continuing to support her even when her own dedication to avoiding a conflict kept her silent... if she could be so selfless, Kaoru could afford to be a bit selfish, just this once.

And maybe... maybe it wasn’t selfish after all.

Maybe she could afford to just be in love, to tell her best friend everything she was feeling, and to support her in return. It seemed impossible, a mission that someone like her—a coward too fearful to admit that she was a coward—could never fulfill, but... Kaoru had never truly believed in impossibility.

That Thursday, she was going to tell her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> important update:  
> given recent news about the bullshit this horrible website pulled, i’ve decided not to post chapter 11 here, and it’ll be postponed until i find a new place to upload this fic. i’m thinking ffnet or wattpad? or maybe just google docs uploaded to twitter. we’ll see
> 
> regardless, i’ll be updating further with what i decide to do on twitter @dudeduction, and i encourage any other writers reading this to get the hell out as well

**Author's Note:**

> check me out on twitter (@dudeduction) and tumblr (@kaochanshirasagi)!


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